Espio872 Wrote:
My character review of Abyss for Miko2668.

Bio: At first I was expecting some sort of revenge story on the Special Forces, fortunately you went in a unique direction and created your character to have redemption as his motive, he doesn't blame other people for his misdeeds, he takes responsibiltiy for them and changes his ways, this quickly establishes a very relatable and human character for me and made me intrigued to see what was in store for Abyss, nicely done.

I also really enjoyed how you correlated his bone breaking into his after-life abilities, very clever and felt very fluid and natural.

Fighting Style: A very original concept for a fighting style, using your ribs and spine as weapons truly piqued my interest, my only issue with this very unique style is that it seems lmpractical to visualize Abyss using his spine as a weapon. He seems lick a tricksters character and I really liked that you did a suitable job of describing him as a balanced character (able to keep away, yet play aggressive), really helps to get a feel for how he'd play in game.


Primary Costume: It's a nice costume, reminds me of Drahmin's look, yet its distinct enough from Drahmin to make Abyss his own Oni demon.

Alternate Costume: I like that his alternate appearence ties nicely into his Oni form with subtle details like the hair. He looks like a brawler with leg wraps and armor, which works for his Black Dragon history, I love when character has costumes that are story relevant.


Specials: A very well rounded moveset, giving Abyss good defensive options and offensive tools. His attacks are unique and give us a nice balance of his bone manipulation powers.

X-ray: A truly original creation indeed, I found it relatively easy to visualize (aside from the spin lasso), but it was pretty gross and very well done overall and it gets high praise for its originality and gross effects. I apologize for mentioning my difficulty of mentioning the spine lasso, I just have a difficult time picturing it.


Fatality 1: Great show, it reminds me of Sareena's difficulty to control her demon form ( I mean this in the most completementary light possible). I like that your fatality reminds me of the iron maiden torture device and the Oni consuming the victim's flesh just adds to the creepy nature of the fatality.



Fatality 2: The fatality is decent, though I'm having a bit of diffculty picturing how it would play out at some parts.


Entrance taunt: Short, but to the point and encompasses what the character's struggle to be a civilized entity and suppress his primal Oni urges, I approve.

Mid-Match taunt: Same thoughts as the entrance taunt


Victory pose: Scary and unique victory pose, consistent with his lack of control over his Oni nature.

Ending: His ending brings his redemption story full circle and the pay off of regaining his humanity as a reward for defeating Shao Kahn was a nice touch and set up Abyss to have a future in the series.



Closing remarks: I really like Abyss, redemption characters pulled off well are my favorite, it instills so much hope and really makes a character feel more human to me. His specials are unique and fresh. My complaints were minor and were not worthy of mentioning again, this is another pretty solid character and I'm very impressed with this character, best of luck to you.



P.S. if anybody would like a character review, do not hesitate to ask

Espio872 Wrote:
@Cyberelmo I will have a character review for your character sometime tomorrow, I apologize for the delay, but I have to handle some things first.

Mojo6 Wrote:
Again I apologize on the delay, these are proving to be quite lengthy. Out of respect for the assumed amount of time the contestant spent on the entry, I’m devoting equal amount of time in writing up an analysis. Here we have Keilenaten and Kevshi.
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Character Review 2

KEILENATEN

- Overall Presentation (3.5/5): Blending compelling elements from popular ancient Egyptian culture as well as time travel sorcery, Keilenaten at her core proves to be an interesting design. It’s when the author attempts to merge concept with some key aspects of character design that Keilenaten begins to struggle. Stylistically, the author stays consistent to the underlying theme of Keilenaten throughout the piece yet undermines her execution with grammatical oversights, underdeveloped backstory, and incongruent gameplay.

- Appearance (4/5): The use of variations of gold metal is an interesting design choice and fits the regal theme of the character while conveying aspects of her personality. Excellent choice here. Stylistically, the author makes some curious choices in wording the description but successfully paints a visual image of both costumes. While Jax007’s sketch of the sorceress queen is blurry, it succeeds in providing much needed context to the written description since the author forgoes details related to Keilenaten’s Egyptian-esque design influence. Despite some minor shortcomings and a few vague details, this is a competent execution of Keilenaten’s concept accompanied by a complementing art piece. Arguably however, the author seems to rely on the reader’s previous knowledge of archetypal Egyptian dress versus establishing details through description.

- Backstory (3.5/5): Harkening back to a thriving world immersed in ancient Egyptian culture, Keilenaten’s foundation inception is as solid as the base of the ancient pyramids. It’s when we ascend those weathered slabs of cracked limestone with the author do we find that unlike the ancient wonder, the building blocks of Keilenaten were not as meticulously constructed. To begin, the author establishes a new dimension in Mysticrealm that has fallen upon disfavor in the eyes Elder Gods and thus has been subsequently banished from existence. It’s in this opening paragraph that a pattern begins to emerge where key aspects of Keilenaten and her home world are glossed over and underdeveloped, resulting in an interesting snapshot of a concept, yet two-dimensional in its presentation.

In lieu of taking the opportunity to delve into Mysticrealm’s relationship with the Elder Gods, the author chooses to provide only a cursory explanation in the Mysticrealm denizens practicing “Dark magics and mystical illusions” without any context. Further still, when the attention shifts to Keilenaten’s own personal beginnings in her “thirst for power” and her “mastery of magic, mystics, and time travel” are we the reader provided any justification of context. Already on hollow ground, the author moves forward in integrating Keilenaten’s plot relevance to the current state of the MK universe.

Choosing to ally with Quan Chi/Shinnok in direct opposition of Kahn isn’t a terrible angle (although arguably a recycled concept) though takes great liberties in altering the established canon through deceptive time travel telepathy. Truly Keilenaten has begun establishing herself as so powerful, that she overshadows the majority of the fighting roster and does so hinging her own relevance on one of the most highly criticized plot hooks of MK 2011. As a result the time sorceress begins to feel more like a “Boss/Sub-boss” character, and stretches her existence in the MK timeline to the point of breaking. Of note however, I enjoyed the clever ending of the character that incorporated innovative use of her “time travel/astral” powers.

- Gameplay (4/5): One of the most arduous tasks in this competition is merging a solid concept with solid gameplay application. This category, while not singularly pivotal in itself, is where an author can exhibit noteworthy skill in cementing the concept theme of their character in fluid execution of gameplay creativity. Keilenaten has some refreshing innovation in gameplay but is hampered by description details that avoid the use of gameplay mechanic terminology. “Free hit state”, “Status effect debuff”, “Parry”, and similar game mechanic technical terms would’ve aided the description. Several of the moves are left up to the reader to determine mechanical application and could benefit from more specific detail. The special ability Channeling in particular, stands out as the least cohesive and vague of the lot and could stand from revision or outright omission. Curious still is why the author chose to include an Enhanced version of only one special, Energy Blast, yet failed to do so with any other entry. Fatality 1 Age of No Return is a wonderful design consistent with the theme of the character were Fatality 2 All In Your Head thematically borrows from the tenuously developed telepathy powers, and sounds too long in animation.

Ultimately Keilenaten is a solid concept at her core though could benefit from further development in her personal motives, integration into the MK plotline, some fine tuning in her special description, appearance details, and the overall style and grammar of the piece. All in all though a very solid merging of concept and execution.

acidslayer Wrote:
just finished reading all the k's took forevever. so here's my feedback good and bad.


keilenaten - i like the idea of a warrior that comes from a forebidden realm. i liked that she killed her parents. bio is a bit longer than i expected. interesting fighting style. to much gold. could use some gemstones to add some color. like the time freeze special. to many teleports. love fatal 2.

Harle Wrote:
@Jaded-Raven:

That is a sig we can all appreciate.

Harle Wrote:
@Shesgotclaws:

Censorship laws to be burned.

@Jaded-Raven:

That is a sig we can all appreciate.

Shesgotclaws Wrote:

And the sign makes me think Raiden from MGS. Skiiintight.

Jaded-Raven Wrote:


Another character whom I like very much. ;P

Shesgotclaws Wrote:


I also love the sequence where you play as him.... totally naked.

Jaded-Raven Wrote:


Mmmmmhmmmmm...

~Crow~ Wrote:
Not to offend any of the other competitors (and I won't, since this is indirect), but the Day 15 matches are the only set where I would have liked them all to advance at least one round. Was the highest overall quality day of characters, in my own opinion.