just finished reading the rest of the characters. here's my feedback good and bad.

tao fei - i like that that he uses multiple elements. bio is a bit long. enjoyed the heavy water special. xray is a bit generic. decent attires. very peaceful ending.

terek - i like that he's a smart tarkatan. very discriptive fighting style. it was quite good. to much use of dashing. to much use of blades.

terra - decent attires. enjoyed the earth trap special. to much use of rocks/boulders. enjoyed her xray.

torment - cool fighting style. interesting attires. to much use of web. nice match taunt. awsome fatality 1.

tyron magnum - decent attires. enjoyed the nunchuck parry special. entance is a bit generic. fatality 2 is short and sweet.

x - i like that he is a user of black magic. attires are alright. could use more specials. brutal fatal 1. he defeated Quan Chi and Shinnok to easy.

yamiko - i like that she is a priestess to the eldar gods. fighting style is alright. to much use of demons. demon choke special is good.

yaray - extended bio is extended. interesting fighting style. like the split special. decent babality. victory pose was quite entertaining.

zhi - i liked that kahn could not travel. decent fighting style. enjoyed ring toss special. victory pose is boring.

i finally finished reading and providing feedback to every character that is in this tournament. so i can hope to have some feedback and reviews from you guys and girls. right. hope you enjoyed my feedback.

@acidslayer

The Shoulen's abilities to shape mould are from the arms only. So moulding legs would make the character look silly. But thanks for you review.

Honestly, it depends more on the whole package. First impression, I'd be wary of him, but if I like the gameplay, the personality, the story, then the appearance becomes a secondary thing. Best example I can think of is Samurai Shodown's Ukyo Tachibana and Shiro Tokisada Amakusa. For the first couple of years after I played the game, I thought they were female characters. Then I found the internet. Didn't change the fact that I liked them once I realized their true gender.

My review of Kevshi for acidslayer.


Kevshi is a nice surprise, I was worried about him being too much like Kenshi, but fortunately his moveset is removed enough from his brother to make him a viable stand alone character.


The ending was a bit brief for my taste, not that it's a bad thing I just wish there was more to it.

The X-ray is okay, though it was harder for me to picture on the character as it doesn't seem consistent with his established abilities.

Fatalities are decent.

The look is intriguing.

Best of luck to your character.

So after reading through 70 or so characters thus far (excluding my character Lorsid of course), I have given a score of 4.5 to five characters (no character has reached a perfect 5 out of 5). Out of these five characters, TWO almost received perfect scores. Point deductions came down to just a few little things about story and/or appearance, but both of these characters are going to be hard to beat in my book. Of course, as the competition goes on, these rankings could change, but that's how it stands as of now.

I think after the first round is over (hopefully I will have all the characters ranked by then), I will post my scores for all of the eliminated fighters and will continue to do so as each round ends. When the whole competition is over, I will post one concise list of characters and rankings.

thanks Espio872 for the review. i wanted kevshi to feel different than his brother by giving him a different type of moveset than his brother kenshi. so instead on kevshi being blind he feels no pain. the katana part i thought was a bit different in the sense of it being double bladed instead of a single blade. he still has tk but doesn't use it in his moveset.

the xray i know i could of done better. i made kevshi in only an hour. the bio and ending i made short because i didn't want to bore the other users with information. i was thinking of adding a few more special moves. i also was thinking if i should put in enhanced versions of the special moves. fatality i wanted to use the chain because he didn't have any chain moves. i didn't want the chain on his attire to only be an acessory. i wanted it to feel that if a character has knifes on his attire he should use them.

some of the moves and such are inspired off other fighting games but are a bit different. i enjoyed your review of my character kevshi.

i hope i will continue to see more reviews from other users.
thanks.

Luna

Story

I'll begin by saying the idea of adding relatives of Mortal Kombat characters to the games is not really a bad idea since MK has not really walked that path outside of Kitana's storylines. My main concern with this character is not her role as Nightwolf's sister, but rather the approach you used. Firstly, I don't believe Raiden would attempt to create mortals. Not only does this go against his character, but you then state that the elder gods did not give him the power to do this; surely Raiden would have known that before even trying.

My second issue with your biography is her role as a "soul container like Ermac". Ermac was created by sorcery; Ermac is not one entity and never was. Luna was, however, as she was a mere mortal and Nightwolf's sister. Have you ever heard the saying, "If coincidences are coincidences, why do they feel so contrived"? That applies here I think. The fact these ancestral spirits just so happen to pick Luna to inhabit seems contrived, and her sudden appearance in her introduction doesn't add up to me. Furthermore, if she's a soul container the way Ermac is, why does she still have a singular personality? There's also not much explanation about Luna's actual life; you say she was newly reborn as this soul container, but I don't imagine that's how it works. I cannot tell if Luna was deceased and now she has returned to avenge Nightwolf, or if the spirits inhabited a living being and made her appear before Raiden. You'll need to give more backstory on her past, because as is I can't tell with absolute certainty what is what.

Beyond that, there are some nice ideas here. As I said, the idea of related characters isn't something I would frown at and a Native American girl would be a nice addition to the roster. I'm not wild about the random wolf transformations, but since she's native I suppose I can look beyond it (though for perfection, I would not leave this without explanation either). The ending isn't bad, but as I said you need to rework the way Luna is inhabited by spirits because it's simply not clicking with me.

Gameplay

First impressions were that she's too similar to Nightwolf. It's never a good idea to describe a character's fighting style by saying they fight like someone else, or even a mixture of someone else. Sharing a special move with him probably isn't such a good idea either, even if you changed the color and enhanced effect. I know everyone wants a projectile but find something else. Perhaps have her use some sort of shamanistic magical attack by use of a spirit stick or rattle of some sort. My next impression of her special move set was the use of the scythe, which I feel is wholly out of place. It's not a very traditional native weapon, and I think it would make more sense for her to use a tribal weapon since you paint her as a tribal character. What about a spear?

The X-Ray seems like it would be a little awkward; typically the best approach to these is to have separation that doesn't seem forced. With this particular one, she would be required to backflip away at the end which always feels a little forced to me. The first fatality is a little overdone for my liking; I generally don't like overkill (personal preference). I've already remarked on the scythe and my opinion on it being out of place with her continues here. The second fatality is nice enough though, simple and effective which is the better approach generally.

Appearance

As I said, a Native American girl would probably be nice to have in the game for diversity's sake. We have girls of all other skin complexions and races (even if story wise they are not), so an unrepresented look would be unique. That being said, your attire is a bit too revealing for me. It's no secret what my opinion on a roster full of nearly naked, large chested weapon are but this is just a personal preference. I'm sure most would like it. I cannot really tell if you intended for the main costume to be this revealing, as I would think the "god-warrior" type of costume would not be a bikini. Julia and Michelle Chang from Tekken have decent designs, but not really strong enough in their native appearances; my suggestion would be to work with those designs in mind while adding in your own flare (the dreamcatchers, beads and other ornamental additions). The alternate sounds more along the lines of something I would like; I'd focus mainly on reimagining the main costume and making sure it's representative of such a powerful character.

3 Major Suggestions

-Rethink the soul container approach. It diminishes her character and contradicts itself. Less Raiden interference and more ancient native rituals to explain her existence.

-Create an authentic native warrior; don't reuse Nightwolf's fighting styles or special moves and replace the scythe with a spear or something more traditional.

-Learn to take some criticism. Nothing personal, but you can't enter these contests if you can't handle the sting of defeat. Respect your competitors' characters and try to use this feedback (and others) to better yourself for next contest.

Malcom

Story

There are a lot of things I have issue with here. He seems to be a patchwork of several other characters (Kabal, Jax, even Jarek) which I am a big opponent of. Characters must be original to be successful in this contest, and there's simply not much originality here. Firstly, you cannot reuse Kabal's plot of leaving the Black Dragon to redeem himself in law enforcement, and the connection to Sonya seems extremely forced and simply there to tie him in with more characters.

I'm hesitant to give out specific ideas for characters, but in this case I feel you need to start over from the beginning. Malcom needs his own angle, his own reasons and motives. I would begin by deepening his history with the Black Dragon and abandoning any connection to the Special Forces or being a cop. You could still create a "good" (though I'd prefer "neutral" to distance from Kabal) former BD member without reusing plot elements from other characters. Included in this is his rather hollow motivation for appearing at all, simply to kill Kano. Enhance the connection between these two characters, create a backstory for Malcom in the process. Who is he really? Why did he decide to betray Kano?

The ending leaves me a bit puzzled because it mentions Mavado, who has nothing at all to do with the rest of the biography. If there's a connection to the Red Dragon as well, tell us what that is.

Gameplay

The gameplay is fairly well done; I love the use of the ballistic knives, very original weapon and seems fitting, given what little is known about his background. I feel all he's really lacking is some sort of gap closer; a dash or charge type of maneuver could help balance him out. The X-Ray is well executed and seems extremely fluid; the description you offered was helpful in assisting me in seeing it in my mind. The fatalities are decent, but both leave me wanting something a little different. The first I would alter slightly; have him use four knives instead of the two. Pin the collarbone down, but also have him stab a pair into the thighs. This way Malcom can rip off both the arms and legs; making the fatality more uniform. I like the "censoring" nod in the second fatality, short and simple. Not perfect but serviceable; perhaps have Malcom do something as the opponent is crawling away to cap it off?

Appearance

Krauser is a cool looking character that I enjoyed in RE4. I don't have much issue with is appearances, though I dislike the SWAT gear for reasons I covered above in the story section. The battle taunts I'm not too keen on, again for story reasons. The match taunt is passable but the rock portion of it makes it difficult since not every stage is going to have a rock lying around randomly; give him something he can carry with him to sharpen his blades. I don't care for the entrance or win taunts since it involves the Special Forces, and I feel like this character should be able to stand on his own without the assistance of old (and really tired) plots such as Black Dragon vs. Special Forces.

3 Major Suggestions

-Spend more time on the story. Granted this contest is supposedly for complete characters, but the truth is that a shallow story will cost you more times than not. If you had spent as much time on his biography as you did on his gameplay, you would have no doubt fared much better.

-Avoid connecting him to too many canon characters. Characters should be tied to existing storylines and characters, but you tried to use a bit too many for a debuting character.

-Once you create something original for him, give him a new alternate costume to fit this new idea.

These are just for me. No one else can use them.

Full Character list:

http://www.mortalkombatonline.com/content/fansub/kak/kak6.cds

Bracket 1

http://www.bracketmaker.com/tmenu.cfm?tid=402842&tclass;=Bracket%201

Bracket 2:

http://www.bracketmaker.com/tmenu.cfm?tid=402842&tclass;=Bracket%202

Bracket 3

http://www.bracketmaker.com/tmenu.cfm?tid=402842&tclass;=Bracket%203

We need some more voters

I think all of us that our still voting agree on that one. Round 2 should be announced with a news post (it will fall next Thursday so all the Kenshi hype should be done at that point) just reminding people that the KaK is still happening and there are very good submissions waiting to be voted on.

I like the idea of having promotional pictures by some of the entrants for the news post to show how good these creations are. Like the Uncle Sam poster longlivequeensindel did only with our own characters. I know that gives some advantage to the entrants with art but it will be easier to catch people's attention that way.

Would anyone be will to take part in that? Would you consider doing a news post Crow?

I'm up for that (well, if my character makes it through anyways).

Every time I get the smallest amount of time to myself to read the entries to vote, something always comes up. I have to use my phone to post most of the time, so I don't get enough time to read all of the entries. I am sorry I have not voted yet... But If I do, I will not vote in my bracket (number 2) as I am in that one and I feel that some might be voting tactically for so-called weaker characters in their brackets in the hope of facing off against them themselves.


@Ab_Horrence. I have done some picture edits of my character's moves over on my Mortal Kombat: Next Generation facebook page for everyone to see. I we are allowed to post them up for everyone here to see then I will do so post here too.

Well I just changed my sig to advertise the tournament hopefully it will attract some people.

I agree to some extent on the approach of the Bio. It is odd of Raiden to do such. I was trying to portray it as him trying to do so even though he knew what was in his power. I was going to change it but by the time I thought of doing so it was too late.

The "soul container thing" is explainable and I was surprised that no one asked me to elaborate on it sooner. I have had answers to give to any that had questions. If I was to re write the bio she would have invoked the spirits herself but going with the current I have...I used Ermac simply as an example and it was not pointed out well so that is a writing boo boo. She was basically possessed by ancestrial spirits of her tribe. She in some way is like a walking soulnado except she only pulls into her the native sould of her people and family. The reason she has a personality is because her soul is the strongest within her. See though while possessed as this mass of souls she is granted the immortality and boost of powers. She has not died or anything...she has just fused with the souls...maybe a better example would be like Highlander and how after a victory the winner ascends with more skill,power and knowledge. Long story short... yes,she is basically inhabited by the spirits.

Luna's past I said from the start I wanted to be slowly revealed through her story. I only revealed that she was a dancer & ritual performer. She is suppose to be a modern inspired native like her brother but yet set to be old fashioned. I really was waiting for her evolution to reveal her past more.

There is a reason why Luna had a few of Nightwolf's moves in similar fashion. I did it because of her transformation when she absorbed his soul into her in the ending when she became Eclipse. The reason this was able to even happen is because her and her brother are almost equals in power. With a bit of explaining her 3rd alt resembles her brother a bit. So the reason why she has so much in common is the fact he is now part of her and she allows his spirit to take control at times.

The sythe was something that was going to come from a past story of an uncle that was a farmer and used a sythe as a tool. I never implemented that into the bio and did not expect it to be analyzed. I understand how you could not see it fit but a spear would make her look more like an Amazon. She is a modern native so technically she could use anything from that era. There was other weapons I had in mind but they were mostly projectiles and I did not want to litter her with projectiles only. Fitting in your opinion or not...I would not change the sythe. I was not expecting so much details needed in this contest otherwise it could have been explained.

Many of the users complained of the wolves theme and her seeming to have no originality because of references to other characters like her brother. As stated above I had reasons for that. Her becoming Eclipse has and will have granted her more powers and insight to her own animalities...considering now she has other spirits in her she can literally change to other animals now. That I will leave to speculation because I am not sure I will enter Eclipse into the next contest but I do not want to build on the story too much until the next game comes out aswell. Back to what I was saying...the wolf theme represents Nightwolf & her uncle which also was able to take a wolf form. The big reason why I did not mention the past hardly at all is because of the fact that being newly reborn in a fashion sets the past as an alternate life almost. Which would make the current happenings her actual mark in history. I did this for the wanting of a mysterious past so I could leave doors open for her to grow and evolve as a character in her future...if she has one.

Her X-ray I agree with you on...I actually do not even recall explaining the recovery after execution. I went with a tackle and punches because she is anamlistic and a bit barbaric at times. Originally I was going to use the wolf theme but I did not want to over use that.

Her first fatality is a bit overkill and yes your opinion on the sythe is noted but as her new form this one will get replaced with a new transformation.

Lastly,if I may...How can I take criticism if I do not get any critique from the other judges. I was fine with the community results...it was the judges that set me off. This is why I am not sure I will enter next time because I do not believe in ghost judges or even having judges other than the community. I am taking this well and even agree with some of your opinions and direction. I am kinda regretting not putting in more time and detail because that is obviously what I lacked because you were confused and lost at many things. If I do enter next time I will take this into thought. Also I would like to respectfully thank you for the feedback...wish I had more from others.

@Crow and MKO Community

I would just like to get some detailed critiques for my character Black Widow, since she was bounced out in the first round. I know some of her moveset was a bit excessive but I felt the numerous amounts of specialties moves were to detail the thoroughness of her gameplay and to better set herself apart from the current MK roster.

Please if anyone especially Crow, has the spare time to really critique my character I would be enlightened to hear people's honest critiques because I thought I had an honest chance to win this tournament.

Like Crow stated I think her entry into the bio/story was wrong to use Raiden in such a way but from the point of sparring and onward I think is fine and I liked the rest myself. The reason her primary was not very modern as the others was because I wanted an ancestrial vibe along with the wolf theme to give a nod to Nightwolf and her uncle(not mentioned in this part of her evolution). I used the sythe frequently to try and reflect her play style while using it...like how Jade does. In the next move set the sythe is gone and yes Eclipse has many new moves. Also, while being able to project animals she can also project her brother. When I made this character it should be obvious that she is a part of Nightwolf and will have some similar traits or moves...it is done on purpose to be a replacement for her brother and to take his path as he would have. Eclipse gets very interesting and if you do not follow close you may get confused. Some little things that are up and coming for her is the fact she will no longer use a physical type weapon as herself. She has an aura that allows her to use a few of nightwolf's specials...but!...she projects him to do it (like a hologram). That is all I will say for now. Like I said...am not sure I am going to be in the next contest or not so until than I don't want to give it all away. Thanx for the feedback acidslayer.

Is it too late for me to join this tournament?

sorry you are. it started i think june 7

It is too late to join the tournament, but if you want to put your character up here: http://www.mortalkombatonline.com/content/forum/showmessage.cds?id=139824 (I don't know how to do hyperlinks, sorry.) feel free. I figured it would be a fun place for late entrants to get some feedback!

Lycan - The other judges are not phantoms; they're staff members on the site. I don't know if they have the time to offer you the same type of feedback I have, but in case you do not know who they are, they are: Mick-Lucifer, TonyTheTiger and Ghostdragon. What I meant by taking criticism was taking your defeat in stride; you threw out insults at Shesgotclaws and her character because you lost to her, and it's just not very becoming. I know everyone wants to win, but it's important everyone respect one another.

Should get up a couple of more critiques tonight. You guys will just have to be a little patient with me, I want to be thorough and devote time to everyone, but it takes a little time to do these.

My thoughts on Black Widow:


She felt far too busy for my tastes, she had over 12 specials( the limit is 8 I believe) and she just felt super overpowered in that regard.

I think having her and so many survivors from Scorpion's clan was a mistep and it takes away from Scorpion's story, I also think that if so many members of Scorpion's clan had survived that surely he would know about them and it might even throw off the canon.

Frost is Lin Kuei if it's a different "Frost" that name should be changed as it muddies things up.


She's also another "ninja styled character" i like the ninjas, but theres so many inspired by that theme and your opponent was just more original in that regard, which is another issue I had with special moves.


Black Widow isn't a bad character, I would just make her more original, cut down the special moves, try to follow the canon more, and you should be good. I love the design ideas and the idea of your character, just trying to give my constructive analysis.

Ataxia

Story

Before anything else is said: A character will never win a match in one of these contests with a two sentence bio. The only way that might happen would be if the other character was simply awful or perhaps had a one sentence bio. Bios are the first thing that most people read, myself included, and therefore "first impressions" are made with it. It's not a science, but for this judge there is nothing more important than the character bio in this contest. While the most deep, insightful character may not always win and gameplay and other intangibles are important, a good or even decent bio will carry you in this contest for at least a few rounds. There is nothing more important or crucial when beginning a character concept.

A problem I am noticing with many who have submitted Chaosrealm denizens is that they are misusing the realm, believing it is a free ticket to not explain character motives or desires. Chaos rules all, no greater purpose exists for them. While this may or may not be true, it doesn't make for interesting reading. Even if a character belongs to this realm, it's important we know more about them as an individual. Questions you should address include: Why does Ataxia subscribe to Chaos? Is she originally from the realm? Why is she important enough for Havik to send her personally as a scout? What's remarkable about her as a character? Anything that can set her apart from a mold is important to address. Another side issue I have with Chaosrealm is the fact it lacks leadership, yet most bios have Havik giving orders. Orders seems to go against the grain of pure chaos, which always leave me puzzled. This is not necessarily the fault of creators in this contest, but if the games fail to explain something (and they usually do) it is your job as a writer to fill in the holes.

The ending doesn't make a lot of sense and I don't know that the denizens of Chaosrealm care about the balance between Chaos and Order very much if at all. Basically what you need to do here is flesh your character out and add some history to her by answering some of the questions I have posed above. Those are simply building blocks, but they are the foundation of a good concept.

Gameplay

The fighting style sounds relatively interesting, but again will need to be fleshed out more. With fighting styles, it's helpful to describe how it looks and even give examples of how some of her standard moves work. Whenever you describe a character's style as a "mixture" of two martial arts, the reader is left to guess which parts you use from the opposing styles and how they work together.

The specials are decent enough; I really enjoyed the Port-jectile and find it very unique and interesting. They seem to work with the chaotic nature such a character would be expected to have, but I still feel there's something missing. Perhaps add another special or two, as the other three are not awe-inspiring, only serviceable. A second unique special could help quite a bit. The X-Ray and fatalities are well executed and seem like they would be fun and stylish. Big Bang sounds like an especially good fatality with the use of her port-jectile to mock the victim. The second fatality is a nice idea but could stand more elaboration.

Appearance

Appearance wise she is fairly well done and unique for a female competitor in Mortal Kombat, which nets a lot of positive points from me. Too often female characters, despite story, character and origin end up all wearing something similar, so your style is a nice change to that. The descriptions are fairly detailed also, so I commend you in this category. The taunts aren't superb but serviceable enough. The only thing I might recommend is mentioning this mysterious orange power someone in the biography, because as it stands it's simply another colored energy power in Mortal Kombat, of which I am not a fan of.

3 Major Suggestions

-Spend time on your biography. It is without a doubt an important section, and for most judges the most important sections. You cannot win without an in depth bio no matter how great the rest of your character is.

-Answer the questions about Ataxia I listed above and go on from there. Experiment; don't make her another mindless chaotic lunatic even if that seems like a fun and easy way out. Again, you probably won't get far with that type of concept.

-Try to create a more unique moveset. Use your port-jectile thought and attempt to think of other mechanics that could set her apart from the crowd.

I think there's a crap craze going on. Not looking to well for Shoulen in the next round against someone from the moon of cheese. Cheese? On the moon? Plausible? Umm......... Meant to say CRAB... Not crap lol... But I'll leave my mistake up there lol

Two star matches next round I'm looking forward to are Khaali/Ravyn and Yaray/Neuros. Definitely clashes of characters who seem to have a lot of support early.