Here are 3 more of my votes. Again, I don't like any less, but the order I have them is the order I'd see myself playing as in an MK game...

Vote:

+8(Levyatan)
I did enjoy Levyatan. He does haves originality. It was mentioned he has a mysterious surroundings and about his race. It's true. MK needs new characters like that. There wasn't much known about Levyatan in the bio which made it more interesting. I do somehow believe it would have been nice to reveal more of him on his ending. The ending was good, but needed more info on Levyatan's past. His looks sound awesome, just like an MK character. He probably needed a lil more moves as to explain why he is such a powerful being. I do like two of his moves a lot: Mendax- my karachter has a similar move but does something different. It's why I mentioned it would have been nice to explain Levyatan this power in his story. The other move is Invisus- cuz it's what MK needs for opponents who love to wait. Now the fatalities, I love the first one. It's gruesome, and would also love to see on screen. Someone mentioned as to why the lack of love to Levyatan. My reasons are above, but overall a great ass KAK.


+7(Komodo)
The thing that intrigued me first about Komodo is the way the bio was written. Through the creator's point of view, and that is a bit hard to pull off if you ask me, and make it solid good. It did remind me a lil of Reptile, but just a teeny bit. I always wanted more reptilian fighters in MK, so Komodo fits it good. I like the fact that Komodo can change sex whenever he/she pleases, and that the woman side is more aggressive. Almost all female animals are that way. Hell even our be-loving women are more aggressive, lol. I like the ending how Komodo isn't really trying to friend another repitile, Reptile, duh, and at the end they are about to face off. Nice touch. I loke the first fatality a lot cuz it has a bit of comedy, that she is somehow emberrassed having no underpants. It does contradict the appearance that they don't care to show how they are, so they wear no clothes, but it doesn't bother me. I love the fatality and it finishes in a gruesome yet dark comical way.

Uh, Cyberelmo, you gave Clyde a 10 in your last post.

See, how much I like Clyde he deserved 2 spots on my votes. Damn, honestly I do need some sleep, lol... but yest Clyde has a +10 on my vote. I will edit.

Here's my vote.

13 - Neuros
12 - Adsler
11 - Komodo
10 - Shade
9 - Onyx
8 - Alexandra
7 - Eternus
6 - Clyde
5 - Lonin Rogen
4 - Kimya
3 - Levyatan
2 - Bachi Li
1 - Psionic

And as promised, he's all my feedback in one convenient place.

Adsler:

Pros:
- Grim Reaper figure not really explored in MK universe so it’s a good angle.
- Strong description and realization of character: death masks, graceful female vessel, bones shifting inside
- Inside-Out Lunge is a cool move, would love to know what her innards look like though
- Very cool picture but it’s too small: I want to see more of the details!
- Fatality 1 is a good concept. Might want to explain how the camera captures all the details though.
- Ending short but it gives Adsler a future conflict. Not just, and then everything was solved.

Cons:
- Ancient race that is incredibly spiritual stereotype + Murians are mentioned once and then ignored. Would like a little more background.
- MK Universe already has a place for the dead, a heaven and hell. Neatherrealm is that place. You propose an even earlier resting spot for the dead. How does that take into account the realm of the Elder Gods, etc. Being an ancient race feels like a cop out.
- Physical description is overloaded and repetitive. Can be cut down. Adsler is compared to alabaster, artificial life, marble and a statue. Take out extraneous details like the tongue. Not used in a move, is it really necessary? Same can be said with the geometric angle you’ve chosen. Too many ideas.
- Rest of moveset and x-ray need some spicing up. What bones are being crunched in x-ray for example?
- Fatality 1 and 2 are too much the same.
- “The Order of Death has been corrected” after a victory. There is no death, no fatality. How have things been corrected?
- The word ‘lounge’ is used instead of the word ‘lunge’ twice and really sticks out

Alexandra:

Pros:
- Betrayal and conflicting feelings of motherland is a strong conflict
- Her role as a dumb-slaving gathering information is smart. I can see Kahn ranting to his slave girls about everything.
- Cool fighting style of gladiator type combat with Pankration even though the grapples and pressure points are underutilized
- Piano Fingers is a cool move but saying every pressure point is extreme and save the bone breaking for x-rays
- X-ray is a good showing of her gladiatorial ways. Especially like the shield hits.
- I like how she turns away the opportunity to be a hero in her ending. Greece is not a Monarchy though.

Cons:
- Timeline and Kahn’s ability to invade Earthrealm must be clarified. I read the bio many times and still could only guess when these events were supposed to take place. Paragraphs and editing down the bio would help. Also keep in mind that the first three games are set around our time and that Kahn was in place to conquer Earth 500 years ago before the Great Kung Lao foiled him. Also keep in mind the restrictions put on Kahn for invasion.
- Peter does not sound like an ancient Greek name. Petrus is the Greek equivalent.
- Already been brought up, but give a reason for Kahn focusing on mainly Greece. Maybe that’s where the portal opens from Outworld and where he starts.
- Kahn conquered Edenia, killed many and still took Kitana as his daughter. Why would he not do the same with Greece and Alexandra? Maybe use her divine beauty as a reason. I felt the Aphrodite angle was underutilized but had a lot of potential.
- The ghost training her and bringing her equipment didn’t feel right. Ghosts usually hang around a short period to give revelations. Maybe have the father show her where her people’s armour and weaponry are held within Kahn’s fortress and have her learn her battle skills from ancient instincts and watching many Mortal Kombat tournaments.
- Too many moves and too many similar moves (two projectiles, two sword slashes)
- Do not use notes after your bio. Work it into the story. And the fact that she absolutely only kills when necessary is contradictory to everything MK.
- Fatality 1 should kill opponent with the bear hug. More gruesome and interesting.

Bachi Li:

Pros:
- Guardians of Colour is an interesting idea. How the colour purple could be harnessed as powers (ie the colour red gives fire and rage poweres) should be explored more.
- Aikido is a good choice for complimentary fighting style for Bachi.
- Purple Rage is cool move, especially the enhanced version. I think 20-40 orbs are too many though.
- Fatality 2 has potential. If you feel that the power of purple is good for summoning weapons, you should expand on that more.
- I like the humour you try and put in with the ending taunt. However, the smiley in message does not fit the character at all.

Cons:
- Bachi Li does not sound like a Japanese name.
- His story needs to be fleshed out more. Why was he sent to Orderrealm for judgment? Why does Raiden, Liu Kang and Kung Lao suddenly befriend him? What about the other Guardians of Colour? It’d be interesting to hear about them.
- The theme of purple is too overbearing in his costume. It’s also strange that a Guardian of Colour is wearing jeans. Get rid of the question marks when describing the Japanese words and definitely get rid of the description of the character in MK Armageddon and Soul Calibur. It detracts from your description.
- Most of the moves are over-complicated and have way too many hits. Try to think of moves unique to the power of purple. The naming of moves also doesn’t correspond to what they do.
- The beast within Bachi only mentioned a few times but has a major role in his ending and is one of his fatalities. Explore it more in the ending.
- Speaking of the ending, it needs to be tightened. How can he go back to his village if he’s 5000 years old? There’s a lot of repetition and it needs to be edited down.

Clyde:

Pros:
- Straight-forward character
- Nice and brutal, dirty fighting is used well.
- Fatality 2 is creative and suits the character to a tee. One of my favourites out of the 13 char
- Ending, if meant to be humourous, is funny. The gratuitous image of him standing on a mountain of bodies is so over the top that it makes me giggle.

Cons:
- Straight-forward character. Not much too him.
- Voodoo is mentioned but none of his moves take advantage of this.
- How did he kill 50 people and not get caught? Has more of a thug persona rather than criminal genius.
- Stryker never entered the Mortal Kombat tournament. He was dragged into the fight when Shao Kahn invaded in MK3.
- Moves and x-ray all sound the same. Crotch kick, choke, etc. Needs some variety.
- Ending, if meant to be taken seriously, does not work.

Eternus:

Pros:
- I love the metal armlets and anklets in his primary costume pic.
- Familiar moves make him a character that is easy to imagine playing as.
- Story is accessible, not overly complicated
- Fatalities are clever, but they could be reworded and edited a bit. I had to read both of them a few times to picture them.

Cons:
- His story is too simplistic. There’s nothing that makes him stand out.
- Being a mishmash of other characters (Scorpion, Shang-Tsung, Quan Chi) limits Eternus from having his own voice. Again, he just doesn’t stand out.
- If King Jerrod is his father, then Kitana would be his sister or half-sister. How does she feel about his existence? Why isn’t she mentioned in his bio or ending?
- Moves and x-ray should be named and should have a theme that make Eternus unique. It’s good to have takes on classic specials, but give them a little something more

Kimya:


Pros:
- Nice to have some representation from a place we haven’t really seen in MK, Africa
- Interesting mix of animal powers and Capoeira fighting style.
- Snake Trap move has potential and is unique
- The Swahili names used give more flavor to the character, wish you had a few more
- Has an animality as a fatality. Wish you had done more with the talking to animals theme.

Con:
- Animals do use body language to communicate but there are a lot of instances where they need to use their voices. Maybe have Kimya have a telepathic bond with the animals to get around this.
- Go into further detail of why he was selected by the Elder Gods to go to Orderrealm? Elaborate more on the incident with his family and Quan Chi. Same with his relationship with Hotaru. Everything is just so vague and not captivating.
- Kimya is too much of an African Tribesman stereotype: connection with nature, spiritual, dreads, covered with ancient tattoos, uses simple tools (the stake).
- Too many small details and none of them feel fleshed out. Mainly having no mouth and the communication with animals, knowing sign language. I’d say pick one or two and expand on them.
- Moveset doesn’t have anything special to it. Develop more moves that incorporate animals perhaps.

Komodo:

Pros:
- Strong character, feels like they would fit into the Mortal Kombat universe.
- Very interesting moveset that feels unique and would be very cool to use
- The switching of gender roles from the male to the female (male hides where females stalks) is a nice twist
- While the ending felt like one for Khameleon or Chameleon, the ambiguousness of what Komodo needs from Reptile leaves me wanting to know what it is.
- Great x-ray and some of the best fatalities of the 13 Entrants.

Cons:
- The bio is strong as a piece of fanfiction but like someone already said, it doesn’t quite work as an MK intro. Who is this rare collector of species? How does he fit into everything? Was he killed? He definitely didn’t feel like he fit MK.
- Description makes him/her a clone of Reptile/Chameleon/Khameleon but I think is saved a little by the whole changing sexes
- Again, ending could be more original.
- We don’t really know a lot about the creature. Does he/she talk? I he/she just a wild beast trying to survive?
- Moves, while cool, get a little complicated with only one gender being able to perform them (I think) and stuff like the screen flashing black or the opponent becoming poisoned.

Levyatan:

Pros:
- Bio is straight-forward and easy to understand. I would like to hear more about Levyatan’s race and his king.
- I like the warrior/conqueror side to Levyatan. He just wants kill everyone he can.
- Mendax and Ligo are moves with lots of potential
- The use of Latin names for your moves. I would put a translation next to them just so everyone understands what they mean.
- Fatality 1 is strong but it took me a few reads to understand how it works. Maybe edit it a bit.

Cons:
- Lacks conflict and place in the bio. Why hasn’t he been challenged yet? What part of Outworld is he from? Is his race under Shao Kahn’s rule?
- Since his look is comprised of many aspects of other characters’ costumes, there really isn’t anything that makes him stand out.
- Two moves are projectiles out of five
- X-ray isn’t captivating and 6 hits is a lot for that kind of move
- Since you don’t give any background on the two kingdoms in the ending, it sounds dull. Expand a little and edit, you use the words ‘army’, ‘enemy’ and ‘kingdom’ many times.

Lonin Regon:

Pros:
- I like the underground fight club angle.
- A sloppy fighting style would be fun to play with.
- I love the image of Lonin just wailing on a downed opponent in his x-ray. However, it’s not clear in your description how they end up on their stomach so he can pound the back of their head.
- Fatality 1 is nice and brutal. Go into more detail like having the opponent’s eyes popping out and blood oozing out as Lonin jams his thumbs into their throat.

Cons:
- Not sure if his full name works. I like Lonin however.
- He’s a fighter-for-the-sake-of-fighting stereotype. Not much makes him rise above this.
- The watch and his character do not mesh well. Why does a brawler who doesn’t give a shit have a magical watch? Maybe explain where it comes from.
- The watch-specific moves and fatality are uninteresting. There’s huge potential for thinking up some moves that highlight his rough and sloppy fighting style.
- While Raiden is not omnipotent, he still has very high powers of perception. He would know that Ronin is not stable enough to be the Protector of Earthrealm. There’s not enough reason for the Thunder God to promote him.

Neuros

Pros:
- Obviously a strong and well thought-out bio.
- The Nexus scene is a great part of the intro and an excellent explanation for his portal powers and madness.
- Smooth work putting other characters from MK into the bio.
- Nice use of Noob’s ending from MK9 to further Neuros’ story.
- Both costumes are great and a nice contrast to the character. The small details like carving his chest and his animal like feet add even more depth to the character.
- I’m not a fan of the kusarigama but I do like the details in the Kusarigama Hook move.
- Nexus moves are imaginative and useful.
- I really do like Fatality 1 for many reasons but I can not suspend my disbelief enough to have someone still alive while their brain is out of their skull.
- Babality is cute and unique.

Cons:
- Conflict with the Great Kung Lao seems weak and forced.
- Why did Shang Tsung pick Neuros out specifically? He oversaw the 9 Mortal Kombat tournaments before Goro’s loss to the Great Kung Lao so I think he would how to use his magic after centuries of fighting and scheming.
- I don’t see Chaosrealmers having apprentices, at least not in the usual sense. It’s too much of an orderly set-up.
- The kusarigama addition is cool but it doesn’t mesh well with Neuros. There’s no explanation for why he has it other than, well, he needs a long distance weapon. It adds one more layer to an already loaded character and it makes him feel overpowered.
- I thought of adding the input for moves into my entry as well. But all it does is bog the descriptions down.
- The x-ray is disorienting. It needs to be cleaned up and the ability to do only when ‘shifting’ needs to be elaborated. Does it mean he can only do it during his shift charge?
- Fatality 2 is impossible. All three actions happen at the same time but some are dependant on the other two actions having already been performed. Rework.
- Ending sounds like a lot of the MK Armageddon endings and that’s not a good thing. There’s also a big difference between madness and chaos.

Onyx:

Pros:
- A black, vampiric golem is definitely a unique mix and his name fits perfectly with his description.
- I like the backstory but it leaves me wanting more. Who were these sorcerers that opposed Shao Kahn? Were there other golems? Did Onyx sleep in a temple buried deep in Outworld?
- Onyx Impalet is a very cool move. Good use of his powers of stone.
- Moves fit with his fighting style quite nicely.

Cons
- If he is bound to his makers’ whims, how is he acting on his own? Shang Tsung is one of Kahn’s followers and Onyx is programmed to destroy him.
- It’s a little confusing to what gives Onyx flesh. You use ‘life force’ a lot but then mention souls in the end. I’m guessing that you’re just using a fancy term for souls. You also do not take advantage of that character quirk in his moves or fatalities unless fatality 1 is how it works. Does someone turn to stone when Onyx drains their soul? He also seems to be able to switch from stone to flesh with ease in his moves negating the fact that he needs souls to do so.
- The hieroglyphics and kanji on his body is overkill and doesn’t make any sense (why would an ancient Outworld tribe use characters from two separate Earthrealm languages?) I would throw some Outworld ideograms on his body that are inspired by Japanese and Egyptian script or get rid of them entirely.
- Ending is clichéd good guy becomes even worse tyrant than the person he overthrew. What happens to his programming after Kahn is defeated? Will he ever become flesh or is he doomed to keep feeding on souls? Elaborate on Tsungs betrayal to make it more interesting.

Psionic:

Pros:
- There is the potential for an interesting character here. If you go into detail about the order of Psi and its connection to the MK tournament, it would help flesh Psionic out.
- The connection to Raiden’s visions is interesting. Definitely expand on that. How is he intercepting the flashbacks from the future?
- His entrance where he says, "I have already foreseen your death!" is a nice quote.

Cons:
- Character is incomplete.
- No move descriptions.
- X-ray and fatalities are rudimentary and boring.
- “I am Psionic, a Psychic warrior from Earthrealm, I come from a secret clan of psychic Ninjas called the Order of the Psi and I am a [sic] Avatar of the Psionic-Force...” Complete overkill with the psychic theme.
- How is the ending narrated if all of creation is consumed?

Shade:

Pros:
- His story of stealth guerilla tactics is a breath of fresh air as far as MK origins are concerned. I especially like the mythos he’s creating amongst the Tarkatans. Maybe explore that a bit more.
- Phurba is a good choice of weapon, especially because the shaolin monks are Buddhists.
- The Tarkatan teeth are a nice touch to his costume but how are they metal?
- Chi Orb is a nice twist on the same old projectile moves.
- The ending ties into the MK world nicely. I still feel Shade needs more motivation for his attacks against the Outworlders.

Cons:
- Shaolin is one word. It’s distracting to see it as two.
- His name is Shade and he’s all about stealth; he should not have white arm-wraps in his main costume.
- Most of his moves, x-ray and fatalities lack oomph. I would incorporate his immense speed into some of them. For instance, his x-ray could have him blurring away when his opponent tries to hit him.
- Fatality 2 could be more brutal. Have him break bones or punch through flesh while he’s zipping around hitting different parts of the opponent.
- Shade’s reveal to Shao Kahn is anticlimactic. This is how it comes across:
“Die Tyrant!”

“And you are?”

"Shade, the shaolin warrior terrorizing your countryside."

"Still not following."

"I trained along Liu Kang and the other Order of -"

"So you're Liu Kang?"

"Uhhh, no..."

"That's too bad. I hate that guy."

*Shade stabs him with a phurba.*

Here's the rankings I've got so far

Keep in mind math isn't my best subject so feel free to double check this

1. Adsler 462

2. Onyx 408

3. Neuros 400

4. Shade 369

5. Komodo 319

6. Kimya 314

T-7. Alexandra 303
T-7. Clyde 303

CUT OFF POINT

9. Eternus 264

10. Lonin Regon 227

11. Levyatan 217

12. Bachi Li 203

13. Psionic 130

Neuros-13
Kimya-12
Onyx-11
Alexandra-10
Adsler-9
Clyde-8
Bachi Li-7
Levyatan-6
Shade-5
Eternus-4
Lonin Regon-3
Komodo-2
Psyonic-1

really is a shame psionic is doing so badly. he had a cool bio and ending, can't for the life of me figure out WHY the user who entered him decided not to give him a proper movelist with descriptions. i feel he would have been much higher up on the voting list if he had.

+13 Adsler

+12 Neuros

+11 Shade

+10 Alexandra

+9 Onyx

+8 Clyde

+7 Levytan

+6 Kimya

+5 Komodo

+4 Eternus

+3 Lonin Regon

+2 Psionic

+1 Bach Li



Oh, and Clyde? Cajun people don't really say "mon", but I know what you mean.
And of course, if he's from New Orleans, he's gotta know Voodoo, right?
It's funny how all crazy murderers come from New Orleans these days, right?

Also, I see you were inspired by Victor Zsaz a bit (I'm geussing, anyway) with the tally marks and murdering and craziness.

How much more time does this vote have? I'm ready to see more characters

Well, better get my votes in while I still have time.

+13 Neuros
+12 Adsler
+11 Alexandra
+10 Shade
+9 Onyx
+8 Clyde
+7 Eternus
+6 Psionic
+5 Komodo
+4 Levytan
+3 Kimya
+2 Lonin
+1 Bach Li

For the record, I like all of them.

He's just too much like Ermac for me, at least based on his movelist and even some of his story. And his alt looks like Smoke with armored shoulder pads, while his primary just isn't good at all. And when we've already got ANOTHER telekinesis based fighter coming as DLC, we don't need any more.

13+ Onyx
12+ Neuros
11+ Adsler
10+ Alexandra
9+ Eternus
8+ Clyde
7+ Bachi Li
6+ Shade
5+ Komodo
4+ Psionic
3+ Kimya
2+ Levyatan
1+ Lonin Regon

ADSLER
PROS:
A solid shape-shifting character is a very unique and original creation with respect to the MK Universe. I think she has a interesting back story as well as some creative move sets. I like the fact that she can generate limbs from anywhere in her body and shift her internal makeup. I think those are some creative ideas for a unique character model. The back story creates a purposeful platform of her being in the game which I think other character’s bios will find hard to replicate in that particular rationale. I thought her background as character also stayed within the realm of Mortal Kombat’s storyline. There were no outlandish details that would conflict with MK’s storylines or make it difficult to insert within the story of MK’s cast itself. Adsler also isn’t that bad of a name for a high priestess character either. The name pops in my opinion. I also like the visual aide of the character. I think it helped me get a visual on what the character was supposed to look and how it would compare to the rest of the MK Roster.
CONS:
I think there’s a flaw of having eternal life and competing in a tournament called Mortal Kombat. In the course of battle if a character has eternal life, that would suggest that they can’t be killed, which would give them an unfair advantage among other fighters. I also think the move set could have been expounded on more. With such a creative element as generating multiple limbs, I think there could be a multitude of practical attacks that would give this character great game play to the video game. I wouldn’t want a character like this to be undeveloped in terms of game play. I also thought the X-Ray move was a little too generalized. I thought that they’re could have been a more detailed description of that move. And finally, the end story was too brief in my opinion. I thought her end story could have been expanded on a little bit more.

ALEXANDRA
PROS:
She has a real descriptive back story that helps define her character’s persona and rationale on the world and her current predicament. I thought it proved to be very interesting to read. She also has an interesting end story. I thought the back story she was presented with, made for a perfect lead-in to the rationale for her end-story. There was also a great detailed visual aide to get a vision of what the character would look like in a MK series game.
CONS:
I noticed some minor flaws in her story, it states that she kills Shao Kahn, but Kitana and Jade fall in battle. I’m just left unclear on who was responsible for the killings if Shao Kahn is already dead. That’s just a minor detail though. Another thing is the game play. I thought some of her moves would be bland when translated into video game play. She was presented to have a shield, a sword and a spear. There’s a lot of untapped potential for her to use a creative move set to make her character stand out even more amongst other characters such as the spirit of her father. I also don’t see Greco-Wrestling as a practical form of fighting for her character also. I know that her origins are supposed to be from Greece, but being that it may, I can’t realistically see an anointed Greek beauty queen squeezing an opponent to death with her bare hands. Her being described as a 5’9 and 132lbs in stature is hard to believe she would be capable of such strength.

KOMODO
PROS:
I thought the diametrically opposed personas existing within one (I think?) is a creative touch to have for a character. I could see potential in this character becoming a vital and standout character if re-imagined and developed with more detail and creativity.
CONS:
Like everyone else I thought that the description of the character would produce a lower tiered Reptile character. The move set the character has came across as bland and uninspiring. The back story of this character being described from a first person point of view really threw me off, almost like they were on a nature hunt or on a safari. To be honest, I thought some of the fatalities were humorous. Komodo stripping off it’s skin and it’s opponent’s arms to make a belt and admiring the skinny jeans seemed pretty funny to me. Also I rather not have characters that are fighting animals. I’d prefer to have humans.

BACHI LI
PROS:
I thought the back story of the character was good. Becoming a guardian is a detail that I don’t think MK has ever had before with the MK’s I’ve noticed. I also like the element of the character following a purple theme in their look and moves set. I think his story line could be implemented in the MK universe without disrupting an current and established storylines in the game right now.
CONS:
The description of Bachi’s costume as to have a more contemporary look with button down shirt and black jeans doesn’t seem plausible in a Mortal Kombat tournament. Some of the move sets that Bachi Li has seems to be generic such as the Bitch Slap with the glowing hand. I don’t know if that was to go for a pimp like fighting style or what, but it seemed that the move set could have been more geared towards the aforementioned Aikido style of fighting that was described. And again, I still don’t see any new ideas for creating a unique move set to make for an engaging game play for these proposed characters.

CLYDE
PROS:
The story line was okay. The fatality where he inspects the internal organs of his opponent like he’s inspecting fruit at a grocery store was comical and a very descriptive painting an instant image in my head of how the fatality would look like.
CONS:
Based on the description of this character, I envision the brute character from that movie “Life” with Martin Lawrence and Eddie Murphy. Again I think the character could use a more innovative and developed move sets. I thought the fighting style of the character could have used a more detailed description to showcase how the character would move and interact with his opponent. And finally, I think the end story could have used a more thorough explanation. It seemed to be skimmed over a bit for my taste.

ETERNUS
PROS:
I like the visual image of the character. The pictures I thought looked great and gave off an impression that the character is a fighter. I also like what looks to be two katana swords lodged in his back. The no handed cartwheel move has potential to be a plausible move for the character.
CONS:
It was presented that this character had a broadsword style of weapon like Quan Chi’s weapon in MK:DA, but is depicted to have katana blades as weapons in his picture. Also if I’m correct, a broadsword would have more of a slashing, cutting and hacking functionality. In one of the fatalities described, he would impale his opponent with his swords in a crucifix like position and warp through his opponent’s body until there’s a pool of blood. That would be hard to pull off with a broadsword. If it’s with looks to be katana swords in the picture than the fatality seems more feasible. I’d think that aspect of his weapons style needs to be better specified. I also think the move set could be a little bit more original.

KIMYA
PROS:
I like the aspect of having a different fighting style for MK with Capoeira. I think that would be a good addition to change things up with a Capoeira fighter in MK. The addition of animal spirits also is a good detail to have in the characters bio. I also like the first fatality of morphing into a lion. These aspects remind me of characters I have called Joaquim Dentro, a Capoeira fighter, and Forage, a Kunoichi Ninja from the Shirai Ryu who can morph into various animals. So overall I think this character would have potential.
CONS:
For a Capoeira style of fighting, I would have liked to see a move set more along the lines of traditional Capoeira moves. I also think there’s already a multitude of characters that can teleport. If it was presented that maybe he had black magic training or some sort of mythical powers to teleport I think it would be better reference for this character. I also think it would be pretty difficult for Kimya to perform such acrobatic like moves that Capoeira requires, weighing close to 300 lbs. I think the aspect of his weight could be toned down to accommodate his athletic fighting style.

LEVYATAN
PROS:
The storyline for his character is okay. I think the end story is alright as well.
CONS:
I thought the description of his costume and alternate look seemed confusing. I really couldn’t get a clear visual of what the character would look like. I don’t think the move set for this character would really set him apart from other already established characters in MK. And the tiger crane style of Kung Fu could have used more of a description in my opinion. Overall I thought the character seemed pretty generic and really wouldn’t be a viable character if inserted in the MK Roster.

LONIN REGON
PROS:
Him having a brawler fighting style I think would make for a new dynamic for game play for this character. Maybe as a street brawler like fighting style. I thought that aspect of him would really standout for him in the videogame. He also had a unique move of generating multiple images of himself to confuse his opponent. I think that would be a move that MK has never implemented in their fighting game series.
So overall his fighting style I thought was very detailed and gave a good impression of how his game play would be matched in the actual video game. I think with more creative development this character could be enhanced into something special.
CONS:
I thought the costume of this character seemed quite contemporary. Based on the description, it would seem that the character would seem like their roaming the streets or something. I just don’t think the description of the fighters attire would really make him standout in the MK Universe. I thought the attire for the character could have been more thought out than was presented. I thought this characters move set was vastly underdeveloped. Only three moves for this character, I don’t think would suffice in MK. I also don’t think that wearing a watch would really be a feasible fighting weapon in a competition such as MK.
Overall I don’t see this character being that much of a viable character in the game series if implemented. I think the character would need a significant amount of creative touches to make him a fan favorite.

NEUROS
PROS:
I like the incorporation of MK’s original storyline with being brothers of the Great Kung Lao from MK1. I think the creators would not have any trouble of inserting the back story for this character. Along with his back story, the end story also connects in line with Neuros’s biography. I also feel like he has a unique weapon, I’ve never seen used in a fighting game. I think that aspect of his character would really standout in terms of game play. I think there’s some real potential to expand a creative move set with that aspect of his fighting. I also think that Neuros has a fighting style that is consistent with his move set.
CONS:
I think that the descriptions were a little bit too detailed especially the story. I think people should bear in mind that when being pinned up against other characters that, in general, people will only read a certain amount of a character before growing tired. I’m guilty of that also. I think the move set could be expanded out a little bit more, to make better game play to the video game. I think the second fatality sounds a little far fetched and confusing to visualize in game play.

ONYX
PROS:
I really like the short and to the point approach this character has. He also has a plausible move set that I can see being implemented in a gaming format. The narrative is very concise and descriptive of how the character would look like so I can get a visual without a picture. I think this character has tremendous potential for expanding their move set and creating a unique character. I think his fighting style coincides to his physique as a character. He also has some practical fatalities and x-ray moves that I think would not be that difficult to implement within the gaming format. Other than that I think this character is real promising. I like the addition of rock like transformations enhancing his powers. It’s very similar to an idea for a character I have in the chamber.
CONS:
I think the costume could use a little more clothing. It states that he would wear just a loin cloth in one version of his costume attire, which is very reminiscent of Goro. I think his move set could be expanded to set itself apart from the Goro, Kintaro, and Shao Kahn like characters in Mortal Kombat.

PSIONIC
PROS:
The narrative is very short and to the point. The storyline is okay and easy to follow. He has a creative fatality of disintegrating his opponent into dust with psychic powers.
CONS:
I think this character could have had a description of their specialty moves, which leads me to think that the character is underdeveloped. I also think if the character is supposed to be a Ninja character, it would logical to have Ninjitsu fighting styles or something to reinforce the fighting style of a ninja character. The MMA style of fighting doesn’t fit a Ninja character in my opinion although I think it could be a variation but a main style of fighting as a ninja isn’t realistic in my opinion.

SHADE
PROS:
Great narrative. I think this character also has potential to be expanded with some creative touches and development. The specialty moves would make for some potential instrumental game play in the game. I also think that the aspect of speed transitioning into a blur is an effect that would give MK a different look. He also has a realistic and transformable story line that I think could be inserted into the MK video game.
CONS:
I really don’t like the contrast in the descriptions of his fighting attire. I think the attire a character can have some effect on the likeability of a character in MK. And it would seem that one takes on a more modern style of attire while the secondary attire looks to have a more traditional Shaolin Monk type of look. I also think the move set can be expanded more to give a fuller and more well rounded character to add for the roster in MK and to add qualities also to make him standout from other Shaolin fighters such as Liu Kang and Kung Lao.

@Esoteric:

Copycat

13 - Neuros
12 - Adsler
11 - Onyx
10 - Shade
9 - Clyde
8 - Alexandra
7 - Eternus
6 - Komodo
5 - Kimya
4 - Levyatan
3 - Lonin Regon
2 - Bachi Li
1 - Psionic

Crow I'm just reading there your comment in regards to costume description. I kinda left my artwork to do the describing for me, am I able to send you a more detailed description of Kuwinda's outfits or is it too late?

My ratings

Neuros >| +13
Alexandra >| +12
Adsler >| +11
Onyx >| +10
Komodo >| +9
Eternus >| +8
Shade >| +7
Clyde >| +6
Lonin Regon >| 5
Levyatan >| +4
Bachi Li >| +3
Kimya >| +2
Psionic >| +1

Latest Results

1) Adsler: 543
2) Neuros: 478
3) Onyx: 471
4) Shade: 418
5) Alexandra: 376
6) Clyde: 360
7) Komodo: 358
8) Kimya: 345

-------------

9) Eternus: 303
10) Lonin Regon: 253
11) Levyatan: 252
12) Bachi Li: 224
13) Psionic: 145

That's counting all the votes. There are a few that should not be counted in my opinion. Cyberelmo has yet to vote for all 13 characters and indyRI didn't vote properly. Without their votes the numbers are:

1) Adsler: 518
2) Onyx: 460
3) Neuros: 454
4) Shade: 410
5) Alexandra: 358
6) Clyde: 348
7) Komodo: 341
8) Kimya: 339

-------------

9) Eternus: 300
10) Levyatan: 243
11) Lonin Regon: 239
12) Bachi Li: 217
13) Psionic: 141

As you can see there are a bunch of tight races, especially between our middle fighters Kimya, Komodo, Clyde and Alexandra. Neuros and Onyx are both vying for 2nd place and Adsler cannot be touched at this point. Unfortunately, there's not really a close race for those who will be eliminated and those that won't so we won't see much drama in the last half hour.

It's been fun though... entering all these numbers into excel. Woo.

Yeah this preliminary round is pretty much decided

Thanks for the constructive criticism guys. I got to refine my fighter a lot because there were definitely some downs that I didn't see coming until you pointed out.

I thought having a last name would help, but Lonin does seem better all by itself. Second, I think I should take out the watch, I thought about how to make him stand out from a brawler and just added on the watch as if it was like the steel arms for Jax. I'll end up taking it out. I should have him develop some sort of strength or speed (without making him a carbon copy of Jax or Kabal). I was thinking of adding in a ghost type source in which he can either A. have a state where projectiles and attacks just go through him or B. Have him fall from the good and go evil where Shao Kahn actually sees potential in his brawling and gives him the ghost-like powers instead of killing him. When I read up the final bio in the first post of the topic, I realized that I ended up making him look like another Kano that has the watch instead of the eye.

Now I'm at a crossroads. First revision:
He fought for all the wrong reasons, his brawling wasn't enough. Then he was reached by the ghosts of fighters from past fight clubs and organizations. They taught him brawling with MMA. One last gift from all of them was the ability for a short time to become one of them. That means he gets to go ghost mode and all projectiles and attacks would simply go through him (except maybe special powers) for a short time. His ending maybe just to become the new ghost ruler of Outworld for his own interest. he left Earthrealm far behind as he had nothing left there in the first place.

Second revision:
Shao Kahn was initiating his invasion on Earthrealm. Lonin tried his best at brawling to fight off for his own life, but got beat by a minion of Shao Kahn. Shao Kahn saw potential in this kombatant so he offered Lonin a seat of power as long as he served him. Seeing as he had nothing to lose, Lonin joined Shao Kahn as a general and received training from Shang Tsung and Quan Chi to become a formidable fighter, despite his sloppy and brawling fighting style. He was soon one of the few trusted fighters alongside Skarlet among Shao Kahn. During his training, Shao Kahn gave him brass knuckles coated with poison that can enter the body through the skin. He became more of a boxer than a brawler by the time of his training was done. The ending would be having Shao Kahn's destructiion come about and now Skarlet and Lonin would square off to determine the next ruler of Outworld. That fight still goes on to this day.

Well the preliminary round is now over. Congrats to all who made it through!

Well, that's all she wrote. Looks like we've got our roster of 96 and unless my excel skills are horrible, we know who's in and who's out. I guess the question on everyone's mind is what comes next? When does the tournament start and what will the voting schedule be like for that one? How close are we to having the 96 characters for perusal? Will the kompetitors be mixed up or will they be kombating in the order received?

I'm definitely excited for the next step but I'll have to be patient to find out what it is.

Congrats to everyone who moved on from the prelims and those that put the effort in to make a kharacter.

I will verify the above results later tonight and make an official announcement. I failed to hear back from Sycho's creator; meaning he is disqualified from the contest. The character who placed ninth in the preliminary voting will survive and move on to the tournament.

Hey folks,

Just wanted to thank everyone for the constructive criticism and, in some cases, love that was thrown at my character Shade. In answer to some of the questions and comments:

Him being a Smoke/Noob derivative:
I have long said I don't have an original thought in my head, as I talk in comic and movie references and everything I create is an homage to something I find cool. But if I'm going to be called out for being derivative, I want people to know what he was derived from. He is inspired by the old pulp character the Shadow and the Shaolin monks from Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub Zero.
Specifically, the old Alec Baldwin Shadow movie origin linked the character to a Shaolin monastery where he was trained in his mental powers and telekinetic control of a phurba. He was abducted by red masked Tibetans and dragged off to his training to make him a force against evil. Hence his Shadow as MK character costume and phurba.
I am also one of the biggest MK geeks of all time and one of a handful of people I know who loved MKM:SZ. Specfically, it remains a largely untapped goldmine for special move and character ideas. One of the subsets of enemies in the game were Shaolin monks. There were generic guys with staves and escrima sticks but there were also three with special powers. One was a huge muscular type that had a Shao Kahn style grab and punch. Another was a super fast type who would run off screen in a blur and then reappear and beat on you. The last one floated around in an orb of chi energy that deflected attacks and fired lightning bolts at you. Based on him being a Shaolin monk from the same order, I liberally appropriated these abilities to come up with moves inspired by them.
So, yes he's based on existing MK characters, just not those two.

His name:
Somebody somewhere on one of the posts said his name was too generic. It was what I settled on as what the Tarkatans called him. I had considered Shado, which was too on the nose for a Shadow reference. I considered Kage, Japanese for shadow, but he's not Japanese, it's again too on the nose, and I thought everybody would confuse it with Johnny Cage's last name. I unfortunately don't know what the Tarkatan world for shadow is or that would be his name....

Ab_horrence's excellent critical comments:
You are too right about my "shao lin" goof. That's what I get for not google checking.
The original Baraka mask used to film the MK2 character had metal colored teeth on it, so I have always assumed their teeth were made of metal. Maybe that has changed since the old days of my youth. Need to look closer at the model for Baraka when I get home.
Your dialogue for the final confrontation with Kahn almost killed me. That's hilarious. It was meant to be ironic that Kahn didn't know who he was, having sent the Tarkatans to kill the monks and having thought little about the casualties it caused. Your take however is funny as hell. Not what I was going for, but apparently how it comes off. Kudos to you sir.

Again, thanks for the input folks. I've had this guy simmering in my head for years (since MKM:SZ). It was great to have a forum to debut my idea for a new kombatant.

OldSkhool

I'm glad people like you and ediblue and AlphonZeus (I'll get back to you about your changes soon) are responding to my critiques. Makes me realize that all that work was for something

You're right, the digital sprite mask they used in MK2 was metal, they were nails they put in if I remember correctly. In the reboot, he now has white teeth as you can see by his x-ray. I personally think the metal is cooler.

I tried not to be a grammar nazi when picking apart the entries. Shao lin just stuck out like Adsler's 'lounge' attacks. A lounge singer, now that's an interesting idea for a character.

Hearing the inspiration for your character makes me want to see The Shadow and play MKM:SZ which I have lying around here somewhere.

As for the ending, that was just how it read. I think your original intent works, you might just need to reword it.

Btw, I think starting a KaK feedback thread is a good idea. I don't have time right now but I might try to later in the day. Then we can keep all this stuff organized.