But... But... But... I see pants.

No, I joke... I'm not THAT horny all the time.

I am. XP

Oh, I know THAT'S not an inappropriate picture for this forum. That's why I posted it here.

Shame we can't see his ass. That's probably 25% of Stryker's sexy factor.

Ok I need some advice and I'm not the type to post by personal life stuff in open forums so I figured this was the best place to give this a shot.

Ok so out of high school, I got involved with an apprenticeship program for horticulture technician(plants/landscaping/stone working). Since I lived in small town there was only 1 nursery in town for me to work at and it's fairly small. My boss is fairly ornery, head strong, entitled, cocky woman who's married to a farmer(Who at the time also had another very high paying job).

During that first year of apprenticeship, I found I wasn't learning what I wanted to learn because my boss was more interested in making money than teaching me anything, it wasn't cost effective to teach me anything. So I ditched the apprenticeship and went to college for it instead. While in college I learned everything and more, and I became very confidant in what I was doing. I went back to the nursery and she was more than happy with my new found knowledge and hired me back.

After grad I moved back home to save money and pay off student loans, and returned to work at the nursery. At that time there was a staff of 7 employee's plus my boss and her husband. It only took me a year or two to pay off $20,000 in debt(And I only make 1$ over minimum wage), and have kept saving. I now have about $20k saved up. Also keep in mind I have yet to do anything that stretches far fairly narrow path. I haven’t even left Canada in over 15 years. I don’t drink, smoke, don’t drive, don’t party, and no drugs and it's not a religious thing. I don't drink because my body doesn't handle it well, don't smoke because I made a pact not too a long time ago, don't party because I hate the red neck town I live in, don't drive because I was lazy in high school and let my permit expire, and don't do drugs because I have an addictive personality but the common sense not to start taking them in the first place.

Year after year I keep going back, mainly out of convenience and fear of the unknown. And every year there are less and less staff and she(my boss) relies on me more and more and I haven't had a raise in about 5 years. At present there are only 3 staff, meaning she's shaved 4 jobs since I started working there. She forces me to landscape almost daily and I’ve injured my self many times, I‘ve nearly broken my neck, almost severed my right index finger, fractured my foot, the list goes on. She doesn't see anything but $ signs these days, she doesn't care about my future or my well being in the slightest, this lady is as cut throat as they come some times. Also I feel stunted professionally since she refers to me as 'muscles' simply because we don't have any other male staff(And I'm not even that muscular), there for I'm expected to do all the heavy physical labour. I feel it devalues my knowledge about the plant material. Also to note she doesn't have a degree in anything horticulture related.

I've seen so many friends and a few enemies come and go, and yet I'm still there. While I'm working there I don't feel like I can move on with my life and I don't actually get to do what I signed on to which is work with the plants. I'm still living with my parents, which drives me insane, but finding a place to live here would be like committing to stay working there and staying in the small town which I’ve lived in pretty much my entire life(Except for college)

Lately I've been contemplating just quitting, focusing on getting my drivers license, and getting out of the small town that I've been stuck in for way too long. As a gay man, living in a rural town is terrible. If I tell people I run the risk of being terrorized and scrutinized for years, also my choices for partners is severely limited(In fact there's no one else my age in town that I know of, not that I would even know where to start looking.).

Like I said the two main problems are convenience and fear of the unknown. I'm scared if I don't have a job everything is going to fall a part, not that there's much to fall at this point. I've lost so many friends just because everyone else is moving forward and I'm stuck in place.

At this point I only see 3 options.

1)Quit now, focus on driver license, find work in the wild blue yonder
2)Work through until the early winter when I get laid off, tell her I’m not coming back next year. This way I can still collect unemployment for a while
3)Start looking for an apartment/house in this shit hole town because I’m gonna be here a while =/

I really don’t like option 3, and I’m not to fond of option 2 either, even though it’s more sensible. It’s just to the point where I want to cut and run, making 1 the best choice. I want to be crazy for once and break the cycle I guess. I've been playing safe for so long I've started to miss out on my life.

Anyways any advice is welcome because at this point things could go either way. I really don't want to work there any more, but I really don't know how to move forward, or maybe I just lack the guts it takes. Pls guide me Gaymers :p

Ok, so I'm bisexual right, Its easy to tell my lady friends this but my family doesn't know and my guy friends I know wont like it. I'm not sure if my life will be easier or not if I come out about it so what's the best course of action here?

I'll get right on that. Prepare yourself. The ass is coming.
*grabs sketchbook*

@FlamingTP:

If your sexuality is something important to you and these guy friends can't accept it, then clearly they're not the right people for you. However, I know(and have dated....) bisexual guys who realize that they ultimately want to be with a woman, get married, have babies with her etc... Live a 'normal' life, so to speak. Frankly, if you don't see your bisexuality as something that will be greatly significant in your life, then there is no reason to potentially lose friends over it. If it is a purely sexual thing, meaning that on occasion if a man finds his way into your bedroom you won't send him away, then that really isn't something the whole world needs to know. If you honestly think that you could possibly spend the rest of your life with a man, then it is something everyone who you consider a friend needs to know and accept.
@Thibideau: I don't think I'm qualified to give advice on that subject, but I do wish you luck with whatever you choose to do. It can be difficult to decide between happiness and practicality... Sometimes happiness must be put off in order to realize a greater happiness later on, but this it not always true. Either way, just don't get trapped and miss the opportunity to move on.

Proud Gaymer here!


Fun Fact; Gaymer is also the name of a Cider.


The more you know!

Edit: already covered.

If they're good friends, I think they'll eventually come around (both friends and family), not everyone is accepting, but in my view anybody worth having in your life will still welcome you in time, after all you're the same guy they've always known, they would just know more about you, they might not be keen on it, but over time most people get over it.




This is just my two cents of course, but it's easier to be forthcoming
(when you're ready of course and don't let anybody pressure you into coming out), hiding is more stressful than being out from my experience.

If you have good friends who already know, they can sometimes help you come out too.



My guy friends didn't like finding out I was gay, but after half a year, most came around and those that didn't just faded out of my life.


If you plan on dating a guy seriously, you'll want to probably be out as well.

All in all, it's up to you, do what you feel is best, I don't wanna tell you what to do, like I said before, just my two cents.