*Imagine this as a skit*

Sub-Zero and Scorpion and eating out at pizza parlor. They order a pizza and share it amongst themsleves. It gets to the last piece and sub-zero takes it. Just as he is about to eat it a spear lunges through the pizza.

Scorpion: Get over Here!

Sub: Do you have to say that everytime you act like a dick?

Scorpion: Chill, bro.

Sub: Really? puns?

Scorpion: Cool it take a chill pill.

Sub: You are such a douche.

Scorpion: Oh yea? Well your just cold-hearted.

Sub: Enough with the ice Jokes!!

Scorpion: fine ill COOL it with the ice jokes.

Sub-zero tried to freeze him but he teleports away.

Sub: Finally some peace and queit.

just as he is about to sit down his chair goes....

Scorpion: Get Over Here!!

-So I walked through the crater where everyone was lying around... dead. I saw Kung Lao's hat with Baraka and I said "Gee, Baraka. You sure have a split personality!"

-Smoke: Where there is smoke, there is fire!
Scorpion: (performs his fire breath fatality)

-Reptile gets knocked into the Dead Pool stage fatality.

-Liu Kang: Who wants to play Hide-and-Seek?
Chameleon:I do!
Sektor: I do!
Reptile: I do!
Noob Saibot: I do!
Tanya: I do!
Liu Kang: By the Elder Gods....

I came across this on google, and decided to post this here. It's an awful dirty, yet funny one, since all the other jokes are... yeah. I came up with the dialogue after seeing a funny MK parody video on YouTube, so credit goes to them.

Sub-Zero to Tundra: "Hey, brother. Random question: Have you ever frozen your dick while masturbating?"

Tundra (with a raised eyebrow and amused smirk): "No, but I take it your idiot ass has."

Sub-Zero (shrugging): "Maybe."

Tundra (Rolling eyes and grinning): "Well, Bi-Han, with the right lube, anything is possible."

Sub-Zero (frowning in disgust): "That's fucking gross, Kuai."

Scorpion (randomly walking by with his cowl and mask off, revealing his fiery skull): "The fuck are you morons talking about jacking off and lubricants for?"

Smoke (teleporting into the Coliseum outta nowhere with a bottle of Anti-Freeze in his hand and an incredulous look on his face): "Bi-Han, Kuai Liang? What the fuck was this shit doing in my room?"

Sub-Zero & Tundra (looking embarrassed): "Uhmmm..."

Good one man.

(This joke takes place when Sindel is under Shao Kahn's control)
Kitana runs up to fight her mother. In being Sindel, she blasts her back with an odd mixture of a Banshee Screedh and laugh together. Kitana looked up to the Outworld sky, and looks back at Sindel. "Did you see that?!?" Sindel (laughing): what? Hahahaha." Kitana: I looked up and seen flying monkeys with smoke words saying "Surrender Dorothy!"

Just thought of a few more:

-Raiden, the Thunder God with the ability of teleportation, chooses to blow up himself, Quan Chi and Shang Tsung to defeat the dragon king.

-Scorpion's quite the hot head.

-Cyrax can dive into magma to retrieve Nitara's orb, but he still gets injured by Sektor's flamethrower.

I've got another:
Stryker was on the job, and he was deployed on a case of murder in a Shaolin Temple. It turns out, it was Dark Raiden at Liu Kang's Tomb. Stryker, trying to tame Raiden, idiotically pulls out his TAZER without thinking. Firing it, he realizes, after shocking himself to death, "Raiden IS electricity."

Yes, it's horrible.

Ermac: We are many, you are but o--...wait this is a tag team match.

Noob/Smoke: ...idiot

I attacked Rain today. He asked me " WATER YOU DOING??"

Kenshi is blind, yet he's "blinded" by Stryker's flashlight

Ive got a joke: Mortal Kombat Shaolin Monks.
Were you expecting something else?

Rain isn't yet ready to rule, he's stll a little wet behind the ears.

Sindel: Deaf to all who oppose me!

Fujin: If you attack me, you would be in air...


JOHNNY CAGE HERE WITH BI-HAN BEGONE: ANTI-SHADOW SPRAY

[iI use it on all my komics.]



Ka-Tra

The most fun I've ever had with Co-op....

saw these across the web i thought they were pretty funny the first time

raiden: knock knock
frost: who's there?
raiden: raiden
frost: raiden who?
raiden: raiden your fridge for some snacks

*scorpion and sub-zero are on a bus*

scorpion: *taps sub-zero* hey wanna see an impression of your brother?

*scorpion pulls his mask off and plays dead*

sub-zero: not cool


no matter how hard i try im still just a fucking noob