A cool female ninja with claws would have been interesting... but nope.

Takeda the lovely teenager took that spot, he is basically that character(design-wise) he is a bit cooler though, he got that Omega Red vibe to him.

I wouldn't wanna see her as DLC, we all know how new characters who come as DLC end up *cough cough Skarlet cough*

oh and no

That's actually hilarious. Wow.

OP, did you write all that bio for that character? If you did, congrats on being passionate about it.

We're gonna have a thread for every brainfart DLC wish are we?

Yes I wrote it, and yes I am passionate about the character. It's not a joke. I understand the stigma that fan creations have, but if people would actually give two craps sometimes, I think they would see that there is real potential here. But what can you do. Oh well!

I'll just leave you with an inspirational Ed Boon quote:

" It's easy to come up with an idea. Anybody can come up with an idea for games and stuff, but it's to actually convert an idea in your head into a reality, and make it into a saleable product. That's where the real challenge is "

I may not be a programmer or a graphic designer, but everything starts with an idea in the heads of people just like you and me. If no-one ever tried to get their ideas out, then we would have no art, no games, no Mortal Kombat in the first place. Just because I'm one of the little guys doesn't make my ideas any less important than say, Ed Boon's. He just happens to have a team of designers behind him.

Awwww, you guys shitting on this guys fan creation. Where's the love?

It's actually not too bad of a concept though it seems heavy on the manga/anime influence. I like the "tech ninja cyborg mecha shinobi" archetype and she seems pretty well realized. I'm a sucker for female characters too. I didn't read a lot of the backstory but what I have read is a nice enough write-up stylistically and creatively. Rooting her origin with a Lin-Kuei rivalry is a smart play since it's one of the strongest sub-plots in the MK series.

Honestly the only thing I don't like is her name. She's Chinese/Japanese but has a western name for a code name? Like literally a western name, not something like "Scorpion" or "Sub-Zero". Seems out of place.

To answer your question though I'd rather see brand new characters like this as included in the main story and thus part of the main roster. So it'd be a no for me as DLC.
Also (and this is just a personal preference) I'd like to see more of an uncommon weapon proficiency since Plasma Claws / Plasma Sword is pretty popular. For example, a plasma/tech Kusarigama would be super iconic if executed well.

I am by no means bashing your idea or wanting to make you look small. What I wanted to point out was that there are other hundreds of fans that make fan creation of characters for MK. You're not the only one.

For you to begin by saying that "this character would complete MKX" is mind-boggling. This character wouldn't be considered for DLC ever. Not trying to sound mean, but it just is what it is. If you ever get into the gaming industry and were ever in a position to draft up characters for games, then you should probably throw this character in. Or if you create your own video game developing organization, you could make it come to life.

also petitions do nothing for getting characters in, Tremor was planned long before that petition was created.

I signed it , I like to see people actually try to accomplish something there passionate about .

Thanks Mojo6, I appreciate the support.

DeLaGeezy, I never said I as the only one with ideas; in fact I said just the opposite. And your opinion stands in opposition of thousands of MK fans that have been calling for a character like this for a long, long time. This isn't just what I would want. This is a character that was inspired in part BY fan feedback. What's mind boggling to me is how you can say this character would "never ever" be considered, as though you were a NetherRealm developer yourself in a position to make such a claim. That seems like a statement you don't have the credibility to make.

I don't think anybody is going against you here, you open yourself up for criticism, in your on thread title you say "Would anyone be interested in this character as DLC"

People are giving you their opinion, I saw and read what you have to offer and I told you I like the idea, it's just the design is already been used by Takeda(Not the exact same design, similar to it) so they won't use that design, even though the character you created is much more interesting than Takeda, who basically is the product of Ed Boon stroking both Scorpion's and Kenshi's dicks.

They couldn't make it more obvious, if Kenshi was a female or Scorpion was a female, Ed boon would have had them have a kid with each other.

It's so obvious it makes me feel sad, Takeda is the son of Kenshi and Scorpion two characters that Ed Boon likes to jerk off to.

Sorry for that little rant about Takeda, but as for your idea, it's great and nobody is saying it isn't, it's just never going to happen because there are a lot of other ideas out there that are similar or even better.

sharefrock, (Sorry I don't know how to quote)

Thanks for taking a look at what I had to show. I appreciate it. And I agree about Takeda lol.

They also have all there DLC already planned out months ago for MKX

Yeah I believe that, but these days games stay in post release development for long periods of time, and new content is typically made for about a year after initial release. So you never know. It's worth a shot at the very least.

except like i already stated, NRS doesnt use petitions to choose there DLC, and definitely won't choose someones fan fiction

Yeah "Lilith as DLC" isn't realistic man, hate to burst your bubble. There'd have to be some sort of tremendous grassroots outcry for NRS to entertain the idea of a completely fan-made character. Don't let it discourage you from your creation though, maybe it'll inspire you to get further into a creative entertainment industry?

The poster above me is right though, there's no shortage of "character ideas" when it comes to this kind of stuff. Also a bit of advice on creating: When you open yourself to critique, you have to try and not t personalize it and sift the "good" out of the "bad". It's easier to tear down than it is to build.

You're not getting the point. The point is this character is next to thousands of character creations of MK fans. For this character to be considered DLC is 99% unlikely. Why would NRS use your character creation when they have developers/designers that have been in the biz for over 20 years who have experience in creating/developing characters. Can NRS be inspired and take ideas from fan creations? Sure, but they won't take your idea 100% and do it. Your character could be good, but it just won't be considered for DLC, ever. It's just how it works.

You never know unless you try. I've seen more unlikely things happen in my life, and at least no one can say not enough effort was put into this.

What I do know is that if this character had been created and revealed by NetherRealm instead of just a fan, there would be a lot of people singing a different tune right now. That's about all.

Anyway, thanks everyone for taking the time to look at this character.

You're welcome and you are right.

People's minds are programmed like that, most MK Fans love NRS so they'll love a lot of the things they do regardless of whether they are good or not.

You've put a lot of effort into this and you've got some real talent, it's just not the right place to show it, I respect people who are passionate about what they do like you, so hats off to you sir, you've got nothing but respect from me.

Your character could work, maybe not in MK but you've got something going for you, you can get somewhere with your talent, so don't let this prevent you from doing something with your character who you are obviously passionate about.

You never know, you might actually get it into MK, recently we got a fan created skin for Scorpion, I just hope you don't put all your focus into putting that character in MK, try something different with it :).

I wish the best of luck, keep going with what you love.

Take it from a writer: bad.


Above everything else, a text is only complete, when there is nothing more to remove from it - and not when you cannot add things anymore.

You are writing a video game character. That requires an entirely different prespective than writing a novel, short story or a novella. here are the points that I find most


1. you seem to equate quality with quantity. That is not so, unless you are the Soviet WW2 infantry. Your text is bogged down in needless flavor text. Here is the thing: where does this flavor come into play anywhere in the game? People are not interested in Sub-Zero's 13th birthday preparations. You are writing a character well above what is required, and YES, there are upper limits to that.


2. Verisimilitude: how much does this concept adhere to the tone, atmosphere and general preconceptions of the world you are inserting it? It seems that your manga/anime preference seeped too well into your fanfic material. That is not MK. Gernerally speaking neither the characters aaesthetics, nor the plot you came up hodls up. It doesn't resemble MK as much as it resembles your typical Japanese stuff.

The whole sister-clan thing while viable, takes more away from the shirai-ryu than it adds to the world. Here is the other shinobi clan you made up, the better of the shirai-ryu. because that is how it comes actoss.

3. Intrusiveness: so your character basically been there, done that in the story of MK9... a common fallacy in fanfics. While it does compensate as adherence to canon, it creates many many things that only open up more questions, bog down other stuff...


4. power fantasy: this is your power fantasy. One of The biggest, if not the biggest detractors of fanfic is that it simply sweats of your ideailzed concept of what you think is cool. You put yourself before the world... and you cannot do that with material that is not your own:

here is an example: I write for the M.AG.U.S. fantasy amalgam world, that means around 100+ stories and around 20 mainstream writers. I really like water mages, and there are four elements given. One of the prominent powers in that world are the Fire mages of Ordan.

While I have cool concepts about what water mages could do, I cannot write that, because in that world there are no other separate elementalist mage clans that use the other elements, because there is no equality in such manner in elements. So a water mage is not only not viable, but the rules of the world actively prohibit it. Same way the death knights of the death god Darton cannot use necromancy, because they specifically oppose it as the guardians of the dead. So no life leech powers etc...



Take my advice: I have seen the amount of work you put into it. And that is nothing to be ashamed of. Writing fanfics has the benefit of teaching you endurance. Starting writing is the hardest part of creative writing, once you started it, it is easier.

BUT....


drop fanfics. While they are good as exercise, fanfiction is a very close-knit cricle with it's own expectations. If you are working on stories as fanfics, sooner or later you begin to create those specifically to suit the expectations of the community: wether they are coming from the readers or you, it does not matter.


Want to be a writer? Want to write fantasy? Read everything, BUT fantasy. in order to write a good horror fantasy I read The Three Musketeer''s, My Family and other animals, completely separate genres....

Most of the time it is not the genre that teaches you. Forget that. Read everything, good writing is all over the place. Why? Because I could use the interactions in Dumas's novel when writing my interactions between a king and his assassins. That did not come from fantasy.

And always, always improve your methodology. I suggest reading Stephen King's books on how to write.



Tl,DR: it's not how many Japanese weapons you can name, or how many details you can gather. it's how well you can accomplish the goal of what needs to be done. you shot too many arrows. Nice arrows, but you slaughtered a complete company of men without hitting your mark.

Thanks for the encouragement. That's very kind of you. Whatever happens, let's all enjoy MKX.

@Chrome... Wow... Really?

1. My text is “bogged down in needless flavor text”? Curious opinion. Actually that’s just called descriptive writing, and as a supposed writer, you should know its importance, as it is used to engage the reader with the story. It doesn’t matter what you are writing about; writing descriptively is always more interesting than not. Oh and I would be interested in Sub-Zero’s 13th birthday preparation, because it is a detail, regardless of how minute it may be, about a character that I enjoy. Typically, when people become attached to a character, they want to know everything they can about them; even the little things. So just what is it exactly that you think is “required” in a Mortal Kombat story? I think you have no idea the amount of detailed lore that NetherRealm probably wishes they could add to the story if they could, but because of time and development constraints, cannot. The abundance of core and spin-off titles that have come along have proven that Mortal Kombat’s story is expansive, and with MK9 and now MKX, they have taken it even further. Just because you think my descriptive writing doesn’t fit with your idea of what Mortal Kombat should be limited to doesn’t make it true. The only difference between my story telling and theirs is that I wasn’t limited in my development time and space as they are, and wrote freely focused on a single character, and yes, as descriptively as I could.

2. Your statement about discrepancies in verisimilitude is invalid in a number of ways. Firstly, by the existence of characters of a similar nature already in the canon: the Lin-Kuei cyborgs. Had there not been such characters in Mortal Kombat before, then your statement would make some semblance of sense, but alas, it does not. If you think that the redesigned cyborg characters that were introduced in MK9 weren’t heavily inspired by manga and Japanese design, you’re only fooling yourself. In this regard, my character actually follows more closely to the world she is presented in than some actual characters in the series. Secondly, as for her story, it was carefully interwoven with existing canon, and with the sole exception of the Shoga-Ryu village, takes place entirely in existing locals in Mortal Kombat lore. Additionally, many of the events that transpire throughout her story are directly tied to existing world events. So I’m curious... What is it exactly that you think doesn’t fit?

Nowhere in the story is it suggested that the Shoga-Ryu is superior to the Shirai-Ryu. In fact there is a passage early in chapter one that specifically refutes that: “Yamino was wise enough to know better than to order an all-out offensive strike. The existence of the Shoga-Ryu was closely guarded from the Lin-Kuei, and if they were strong enough to exterminate the Shirai-Ryu so completely, the risk of jeopardizing the clan was too great.” As for what it adds to the world, the Shoga-Ryu sheds much needed light on the lives of the Japanese shinobi in Mortal Kombat, as well as on the original Shirai-Ryu, a clan that has had little exposure aside from its brief mentionings in Scorpion's story. Until now, the Chinese Lin-Kuei have had the majority of the exposure. Lillith and her story was meant to balance that.


3. As it is written, my character appears only in very specific moments during the events of MK9 that are pivotal to her own story. To say she has merely “been there, done that” is a massive exaggeration. I would like to know exactly what “many many things” her inclusion during these certain scenes creates, and what “questions” do those things open up? And tell me if you can how it “bogs down other stuff”. What other stuff? That doesn’t make any sense. Can you be more descriptive in your writing?

4. Creating a character and/or story without applying some of your own personal preference is an impossibility as an artist/writer. However, to say I have put myself before the world is a gross accusation. I have been abundantly respectful to the world I have put my character in, and from the very beginning, made it a point to emphasize her humanity and vulnerability. I never set out to make super woman, but only a character that could stand toe to toe with any of the other main characters in the lore, which is the same power that is given to almost every character created by NetherRealm themselves with the exception of the boss characters, who are given more. This point is proven time and again throughout my story, notably in part by her inability to use supernatural powers and abilities such as fireballs or ice blasts. If this was my “power fantasy”, don’t you think I would have made her even stronger?

No, I’m not ashamed of a darn thing. In fact I’m very proud of what I have accomplished here seeing as though I am not a writer by trade and this is my first production of this scale. I’m a hair stylist. Nobody’s paying me or even thanking me for creating this character, nor would I ever expect as much. That’s not why I did this. I made this character directly out of my appreciation for Mortal Kombat, and that is why I can say here now that she is not just some “power fantasy”. She is a result of my passion for the series, and I came here looking to see if others might share in that passion with me and enjoy participating in seeing such a character make it into Mortal Kombat lore. But with nearly all I’ve gotten so far, I suppose that was too much to ask.

You do what you want to do; read what you want to read, whatever. I will keep doing what I do. Your opinion is just that--an opinion, and that’s fair enough. But the goal of the text was accomplished through and through.