yea mate not bad i would buy that game but i would buyany mortal kombat game

Insubstantial.

and why is that?

I have to agree with Chrome on this one. There are simply many problems with this story concept.

The first problem lies within the concept of Quan Chi still being alive and being the main villain. If MK is to really move forward, then there should be a new main villain, not an old one.

Then we have the issue of Quan Chi killing all the gods, including Raiden. Although Quan Chi is very powerful, can he truly take down all the gods by himself? I doubt it. With Quan Chi being sent back in time by the gods, just how the hell can he open up a portal to another world?

It seems that the intro takes place in the future after Quan Chi goes to this new world. The whole planet full of purple-looking people sounds awfully silly. Why would the gods destroy most of the realms? If you're talking about the Lesser Gods, then something would be wrong with them. If you're talking about the Elder Gods, that's not possible, because the Elder Gods can't directly interfere in the affairs that go on in the realms. The Elder Gods only care about the continuous existence of the realms.

Just how and why would Kung Lao revive Raiden? If Raiden were to have been killed by Quan Chi, he would've been reborn. However, there's the issue of Raiden's dark persona. What happened to that?

Then we have your roster, which doesn't consist of my favorite character Sub-Zero. However, given the quality that your concept has so far, I guess in a way you spared him from being crapped on.

The warriors on Earth

Fujin: It's good to have him back, but the whole holy lake thing and the revival of the gods is silly.

Shao Kahn: This is somewhat interesting in the sense that he's in danger and is willing to swallow his pride by helping his former enemies take down a greater one. Unfortunately, because the main story itself falls part, this concept for Shao Kahn is ruined.

Reptile: You wasted Reptile's character by doing this. He should just have his happy ending as his story would work best by ending after Armageddon is over.

Baraka: Baraka is even worse, because you not only ignored the fact that Shao Kahn was angry at the Tarkata for their betrayal, but you put Baraka in the same kind of role he's had since his debut with no real character development at all. He should just die and stay dead.

Goro: His name is spelled Goro, not "Goru". You're kind of ignoring about Goro's return to Shao Kahn's side unless you're talking about him helping Shao Kahn help their former enemies. Even then, you're just dragging out Goro's story like you would be with Reptile's and Baraka's. He's better off dead.

Kitana: This is very predictable and does nothing for her as a character.

Sonya: Her name is spelled Sonya, not "Sonia". Like Kitana, this is very predictable and does nothing for her as a character.

Jax: See Kitana and Sonya. In addition, you seem to be ignoring the factor of Jax being a bit of a loose cannon.

Liu Kang: Like with Jax, the problem here is bringing them back. It's a waste and only drags their stories out. Liu Kang is worse though and your story concept for him is inplausible, because his zombie self is a mindless tool of destruction. What happened to Liu Kang's spirit?

Johnny Cage: See Kitana and Sonya.

Quan Chi's spy: garbage

Quan Chi's general: garbage

The warriors in Netherrealm (Quan Chi's Castle)

Quan Chi: Read what I said about the problem of him being the main villain as well as the story concept if you haven't done so already.

"A monster": Wtf?

Shinnok: boring

Shang Tsung: What kind of deal did Shinnok make Shang Tsung? Also, it's spelled "ally", not "allie".

Raiden: uh huh....

Kung Lao: Why? Raiden abandoned the heroes.

Scorpion: This is absolutely disgusting and idiotic, because you don't seem to understand the problem with Scorpion. Doing this simply makes his story more redundant, and I bet you'd still have him be an idiotic jackass too.

Reiko: This doesn't make any sense, because Reiko hates Quan Chi and doesn't trust him. Btw, it's spelled Shao Kahn.

Ermac: predictable

Cyrax: Wtf?

Noob Saibot: *yawns*


One thing I don't like is when people do next-gen story ideas and already reveal the characters that will be in it.

Overall, this has so many problems in it that there isn't really anything good. My suggestion is to start all over, because it's just one big mess. You have to look into the story and characterizations more.

ok thanks for your honest oppinion :s
I already mentioned that i'm sorry for any spelling mistakes and any mistakes in general (relating the story).

1. Holy Lake- the gods need it to revive themself without it they are the same as mortals...
I know the name might be silly, if you like to you can find me a better one :)

2. Future time- The gods who feared for their own survival (there was too much chaos going on) destroyed the realms that were in war including earth and outworld.
The future race (again i cant think of a name for them) are against the gods and what they did.

3. Quan chi- i didnt exactly say he's attacking the gods by himself, he has an army to back him up (the only god he kills in 1v1 is Raiden to show his army how strong he is).
I said he attacks the gods with a future race that is against the all "god" concept (you will have to keep an open mind on this).
The gods punished Quan chi in mk:A and sent him to the past. now when he's transfered trought the worm hole he faces 2 exits, the one that the worm hole leads him to (obviously the past)
and another one, he actually doesnt know where that other warm hole will take him but he takes his chances.

4. Reiko- he wanted Shao kahn's crown ever since he was presented on mk4, so he will do anything to get it.

5. Cyrax- Sektor and Smoke are disabled because they were attacked by Quan chi's forces and now they are laying in one of the rooms in Quan chi's castle.
Cyrax knows it because he has some robot sense that tells him that :).
Now cyrax is good, Noob is bad, so if Cyrax gets to the cyborgs first he can reprogram them to be good (opposite to what Noob will do if he gets to them first)

6. Goro- sorry for spelling his name wrong, i was thinking about two towers (arcade mode) Quan chi's and earth's, so Goro is the big monster to beat before you face Shao kahn and Fujin.

Reptile- he is not a main character in my story, he can have his own motives beside just helping Shao kahn but i'm trying to explain the main story first.

Sonya,jax,Johnny cage - again like Reptile.

Kung Lao- he revives raiden because Fujin told him that Raiden knows how to recreate the holy lake and stop Quan chi.

Spy (no idea for a name)- she is Quan chi's spy on earth, she's the one that tells him that Raiden is alive again and trying to recreate the Holy lake (it can be a statue or anything that helps the gods revive)

my idea for Liu Kangs ending is that he defeats Quan chi's spy in a battle and then when he's about to kill her she tells him about that Kung Lao revived Raiden, Liu Kang walks to that cave and revives himself (he has some humanity in him).

monster (no idea for a name)- Quan chi has his own conquest (the main one) in that konquest he defeats a monster, now back in mk time he uses this monster as his main guard.

Shang Tsung- Shinnok plans to kill Quan chi and become the new host of his army (the army of the future race that came with Quan chi back to mk time), Shang Tsung helps him and tells him that he would be his right hand but obviously he wants to betray shinnok and become the host of that army himself.

Shinnok- Quan chi took Netherealm from him so he doesnt have much of a choise, he needs someone to help him and Shang Tsung offers his help, he knows that he will betray him and is ready for that.

Scorpion- sorry i just dont have any better idea atm, but scorpion has been all about revange since the beggining, changing him would ruin his character.

stuff i forgot to include:
The intro takes place in mk time actually, after Quan chi's konquest is over he comes back with warriors from the future race back to mk time because in that time they can still somehow defeat the gods.

about sub zero:

i like him too but cant think of any good idea for him, and i dont want to offend you by making his story the same as jax and sonya

Again, the story needs to start from scratch, because it's too much of a mess. I still suggest you need to study the MK storyline and characters, because you're not going to get good results if you continue from what you have now.

The gods are immortal, and I don't think they really need a "holy lake" to replenish their strength.

When you mean too much chaos going on, do you mean inside the realms themselves? If so, is it something that endangers the existence of the realms? If that's the case, destroying the realms would be the opposite of what they'd want to do. If that's not the case, that part of your story is illogical, because like I said before, the Elder Gods are only concerned that the realms continue to exist.

Why would there be two exits when Quan Chi is sent back in time? Btw, I forgot to mention that Quan Chi's MKA ending contradicts things established in the story.

The Cyrax/Noob Saibot stuff could work better had the main story been different.

Like I said before, by having Goro return and not really do anything particularly interesting, you're just dragging his story.

By having Reptile still under the service of Shao Kahn, you still have him stuck in that mess. Sonya, Jax, and Johnny Cage simply doing more of the same is boring and an absolute waste of their potential.

What you said about your story idea for Kung Lao makes no sense, because Raiden abandoned the heroes and is not to be trusted. Even if Raiden would know how to recreate the "holy lake" and stop Quan Chi, what makes you think that Raiden would agree to help them? He longer relies on the Earthrealm mortals to defend their realm.

The stuff for Liu Kang still doesn't work, because his zombie form is soulless and mindless. Also, you didn't answer my question about his spirit.

The monster concept sounds like a 1-dimensional character like Baraka.

Shang Tsung's story idea is predictable and cliche. He needs something else to do to step him up.

About Scorpion, you really do seem to be unaware of what exactly is wrong with him. You don't even realize that keeping his story about revenge is what would actually ruin him further.

I'll try to explain this as best as I can. Basically, some people such as myself talk about two different stories for Scorpion: pre-retcon and post-retcon.

The pre-retcon storyline for Scorpion is viewed by people like myself as better, because it gradually takes Scorpion away from the revenge plot and starts to develop his character into something more. I'm talking about his story from MK1-MK3 as well as MK Mythologies: Sub-Zero.

Then there's his post-retcon storyline, which alters events that took place in his MK1-MK3 storyline and also changes his character in a negative way, turning him into nothing more than an idiotic, revenge-driven jackass who starts trouble with others, only to be defeated again and again.

This change kind of started with his MK4 story, but truly gets bad when his MKDA bio states that he's been after Sub-Zero for many years, believing him to be the one that killed his family and clan.

My suggestion to you about Scorpion is to simply take him out of the revenge plot. If you think that changing that would ruin his character, you are sadly mistaken.

In conclusion, I still say your story is a mess, because of the reasons I stated earlier, such as you not being well-versed in the story and characters.

One other thing I forgot to mention is that you seem to have all these classic characters, most of whom are from MK1-MK3, but yet you don't have any characters from MKDA-MKA along with having very few new characters, which is very disappointing and lessens the quality of your story even further.

Chrome is definitely right on this being very insubstantial. Honestly, I don't think I have all that much else to say, because if you're really serious about wanting to do this, you need to step up big time and look into the stories and characters.

Btw, instead of double posting, use the "Edit Message" feature. I know you're new here, but you should familiarize yourself with the rules and features of MKOnline.

I think you should take it alittle bit less seriously, its not like this will be the story of the next mk game.

You also seem to see some characters and story lines in 1 way and cant agree on any other, like with the gods.
"the Elder Gods are only concerned that the realms continue to exist." what if the war between the realms dangers the existance of the gods, wouldnt they destroy those realms?

What i'm doing is presenting the main story, some characters have a big part in it and some are just defending their realm, this doesnt mean they cant have their own side story.

Some information can be twisted, like Liu Kang being a mindless zombie, he can still have "some humanity left in him".
Raiden helping Kung Lau maybe doesnt make any sence in mk:d or mk:a but in my story i already said that all the gods were killed and as a god himself (who's now a mortal) would want to revive all the gods and get his immortality back.

Only one person could defeat blaze on mk:A so its impossible that all the characters could have their endings, so saying his ending contradicts what you said is wrong because he most likely didnt even have this ending.

I agree with you about scorpion, just wanting to kill Quan chi is a bad and shallow story, i will probably change this.
You are also right about other things like some stories dont exactly follow the mk tradition, but you need to take this more lightly.
What i'm trying to say is that i want responds about the main story and not about every character and how i didnt develop their story lines (i just wrote the characters i want in my story i didnt think about complex bios for them yet).

This story is ok, but it stretches far beyond the reaches of MK. Why? Because any time you include time travel things become a huge mess. The story seems to revolve predominantly around Quan Chi, which is okay, if this was an MK Mythologies game or somethin. You have good concepts, but the story itself needs some polishing. Instead of saying whatever about the artifacts, think about what their real purpose should be, otherwise they're not needed at all.

Lastly one big reason why most people seem to reject this, is because it strays very far from what the MK titles have given us. Therefore we all have a tendency to "not like it".

ok so here i will add my idea for Quan chi's konquest, i hope that this will improve my story:

Quan chi's konquest begins in a desert like area, after you walk around you (Quan chi) soon find a man called Ipus (later on Quan chi's general).
Ipus is shocked to see you and asks you to follow him.
The two of you walk to a city called zalshar to meet with one of the elders, you meat the leader who's called Zaken.
Zaken is excited to meet you, he tells you about their prophecy of a man from the past whos soul is pure that will save their race, he seems to think that you're that man.

Zaken's theory:

Zaken adds that for the last 530 years the gods destroyed one realm after the other and that their realm is next.
He believes that with a man from the past as a host they can travel to the past where the gods can be defeated and change the future.
He sends you and Ipus to a cave where the artifact that will help you travel back to the past is hiden, he adds that the cave is guarded by a mystical beast.

You go to the cave defeat the beast and take the artifact back.
(the artifact looks like some kind of a spider with a glowing diamond on it)

When you go back to the elder Zaken you are amazed find Shang Tsung half dead and held by one of the guards, Zaken tells you that he was feeding from the soul of one of the guards.
Shang Tsung laughes and asks if you're the one with the "pure" soul from their prophecy.
You try to kill him but he breaks the arm of the guard that was holding him and teleports away. (this is future Shang Tsung, he seems to still be alive even though outworld is destroyed)
You ask the guard where he found him, and takes the mission to find and kill him on yourself (obviously because Shang Tsung knows Quan chi's true motives).

You find Shang Tsung, defeat him and return back to Zaken.
Now there is another problem, the artifact seems to have lost it's powers during the long time that it was in the cave.

Zaken sends you and Ipus to your next mission which is to go to a certain mountain and recharge the artifact, he also warns you that the way to that mountain is full of thieves.
Ipus tells you that you better find a guide for this mission.
He takes you to Laren (later on Quan chi's spy) and pays her, than he go to handle some of his own business.
You fight alot of thieves on your way and recharge the artifact.
Now you go back, you choose your general to be Ipus and take Laren too because you want her as your spy.
The artifacts starts to move and attaches itself to Quan chi's body, now he can open a portal to the past and take a huge army with him.
This is how the konquest ends, hope you like it
This is also where the intro begins...