sektor seven who is scorpi-kahn ch 1 cyber attack

Fan Kreations

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sektor seven who is scorpi-kahn ch.2 tarkatan breach, trapped

SEKTOR SEVEN

WHO IS SCORPI-KAHN?

CHAPTER 1: CYBER ATTACK

Location: S.P.O.R.F. (Space Pirate Outerworld Research Facility)

It was a normal day for Crimson D. The koloseum was full of people. The blood and body parts were flying and Kahn was laughing. After the matches Crimson D. ate the serviving losers with the horde.

He arrives at the facility data center with blood and entrails still hanging from his razor sharp teeth. "Hey guys!" he said. The techys greeted him back, with disgusted looks on their faces. But how can you blame them? His mouth has guts hanging out and his breath smells like blood.

Just before they could say anything, all the computers screens go black. Suddenly a message appears on them. The message said: ATTENTION!!! ALL YOUR BASE R BELONG TO US! Scorpi-Kahn SK.

The alarms go off and an electronic voice sounds through the entire fortress. "SYSTEM ALERT!!! SYSTEM ALERT!!! AN INTRUDER HAS BREACHED THE SYSTEM AREA! INITIATE FULL SYSTEM LOCKDO... *distorted noises*. "Someone sabotaged the security systems!" a techy yelled.

The entire facility blacks out. Only the mysterious computer message was there. "Is that on all the computers?" "Yes every computer screen in the entire facility has it." said a bunch of space pirates were chattering amongst themselves. People started to panic and all hell broke loose.

Crimson D. stormed into the control room. All the systems were down. Only that message was still there. "We will need to reboot the whole system to restore operations to the facility." a IT guy said. "Can it be done from here?" Crimson D. asked. "Yes but I need access to the master control console here to do so." the IT said. "Ok I will put in the code." said Crimson D. as typed in the master code. "Ok your in." he said.

The IT typed in some commands and the system powered down with a hum while the message dissappeared. A few seconds later they turned back on with a wurr. "We are rebooting." said the IT as all the screens lit up and came back on.

To be continued...

Author's Remarks:
here you go critics some "REAL" writing.

Content	351 words	Category	Other	User Views
User Likes		User Ratings	4	Score	0.0

submitted 08/02/2010 11:39 AM (UTC)by

Sektorseven

@Sektorseven

About Me

"If it is alive it can feel pain. If it has eyes it can see it own suffering. If it has blood you can make it bleed. If it has a mouth you can make it scream." Darth i forgot his name.

"Thats the best thing about you humans. You bleed." a tarkatan warrior.

Member Since

06/07/2010 02:27 PM (UTC)

Jiro

@Jironobou

About Me

Kung Lao/Smoke main. Maker of puns and bad jokes.

•07/29/2010 05:24 PM (UTC) •

In response to Sektorseven's piece:

While your description instantly made me detest you as a person, I still feel a need to critique your writing(although I don't know if you could call it critique).

Firstly, I really don't understand what the point is of critiquing your work, you just seem to ignore everything the users of this site tell you and continue writing sub-par stories in the same abysmal way. You still lack certain grammar and spelling skills, and the story is sub-par.

Then you go on and say "Here you go critics, some "REAL," writing." putting that extra sarcastic emphasis on 'real' to make sure we all know that you don't give a shit about what anyone says about your "writings,"

btw, if you do actually plan on reading through this, it would be a good idea to not use lame internet reference for any future 'writings.' That whole "All Your Base" thing got old IMO.

Sektorseven

@Sektorseven

About Me

"If it is alive it can feel pain. If it has eyes it can see it own suffering. If it has blood you can make it bleed. If it has a mouth you can make it scream." Darth i forgot his name.

"Thats the best thing about you humans. You bleed." a tarkatan warrior.

•07/30/2010 11:42 AM (UTC) •

why is everything i write "sub par"?

Jiro

@Jironobou

About Me

Kung Lao/Smoke main. Maker of puns and bad jokes.

•07/30/2010 03:40 PM (UTC) •

Sektorseven Wrote:
why is everything i write "sub par"?

I don't know, that 's your problem, but you should proofread your story, then have someone else read it (If you want a profession opinion of your writing before you post it on MKO, don't ask a parent or anyone else involved with this horrible crossover DnD game, because they will sugar coat it when they are involved)

Oh, and basing your story on a jumbled up DnD game is a bad idea too.

Sektorseven

@Sektorseven

About Me

"If it is alive it can feel pain. If it has eyes it can see it own suffering. If it has blood you can make it bleed. If it has a mouth you can make it scream." Darth i forgot his name.

"Thats the best thing about you humans. You bleed." a tarkatan warrior.

•07/30/2010 11:22 PM (UTC) •

1. its not that i dont a F*** about that stuff you tell me. i used the word critic because it fells like no one appreaciates my stuff. i am pulling my hair out of my head trying to figure out to write things that will please you people.

2. this is also loosely based off a TV show episode talking about a computer hacker who pulls pranks. now in this story Cyrax is looking for the hacker known as scorpi-kahn, inside cyberspace. i mean literaly walking around in cyberspace chasing this hacker. that will be explained soon in a later chapter.

SEGAmaniac7

@SEGAmaniac7

•07/31/2010 12:28 AM (UTC) •

Ok this is waay to short nothing is really happening exept someone had guts in their mouth and the computer systems went down. Really it was not interesting at all, I got bored less than halfway in, i mean its not just that its short, it is that its short and boring.

Ok the part where he goes to the facility and talks to ``techys`` was really lame and uncreativer, guts in his mouth, i dont know why anyone would do that like even baraka wouldnt do that. Really pointless paragraph and poorly written But who would blame you.

Everything seems childish, the dialouge, concepts, even some sentances: It was a normal day for Crimson D. The koloseum was full of people. The blood and body parts were flying and Kahn was laughing.
Ok like explain what happened what do you mean by normal day, all I know is that blood and guts are flying and some one named Crimson D. is eating and letting them hang out his mouth.

The rest was uncreative, unoriginal, and whats with the whole scorpio-khan. The computer system was hacked, everyone panicked, we rebooted the system, to be continued. Seriously, thats all you could think of.

Overall it was boring and poorly written, my 4 year old nephew tells me better stories.

Sektorseven

@Sektorseven

About Me

"If it is alive it can feel pain. If it has eyes it can see it own suffering. If it has blood you can make it bleed. If it has a mouth you can make it scream." Darth i forgot his name.

"Thats the best thing about you humans. You bleed." a tarkatan warrior.

•07/31/2010 02:55 PM (UTC) •

the next chapter will be more intense. and as it goes on you will see something unique and the tricks the hacker pulls will be more malicious.

Icebaby

@Icebaby

•08/01/2010 02:58 AM (UTC) •

Sektorseven Wrote:
1. its not that i dont a F*** about that stuff you tell me. i used the word critic because it fells like no one appreaciates my stuff. i am pulling my hair out of my head trying to figure out to write things that will please you people.

Hmm... well, after reading some of your works, I can see why not too many people enjoy your stuff. Seeing how you put things from other video games that are no where near Mortal Kombat, I can understand exactly why they wouldn't like it.

Your grammar and spelling needs to be fixed, I reckon you first write your work in Word and do spell check and see if any of your sentences need to get changed and such. But claiming this as "real" writing, no. It is certainly not, as it's completely short and completely vague. Real writing requires details. Who is Crimson D.? Why are people eating everyone? Also, don't give nicknames to words that you either cannot spell, or don't feel like writing out complete like "techy." Actually write "technician" or something similar like that. It just shows lack of effort of actually writing something that's "real writing."

Sektorseven Wrote:
2. this is also loosely based off a TV show episode talking about a computer hacker who pulls pranks. now in this story Cyrax is looking for the hacker known as scorpi-kahn, inside cyberspace. i mean literaly walking around in cyberspace chasing this hacker. that will be explained soon in a later chapter.

Despite that you're getting ideas off of television shows and characters from other video games, your stories are unoriginal since your not really making it feel like you're taking the time and effort to actually do something new. You're just changing characters from that show with your "created" characters. I'm not really liking the whole "Scorpi-kahn" name you're giving this character. Really not liking it.

~Crow~

@~Crow~

•08/01/2010 06:26 AM (UTC) •

What I find the most hilarious is that despite none of you liking his stuff, his threads get far more replies than things with actual great art inside them.

Sektorseven

@Sektorseven

About Me

"If it is alive it can feel pain. If it has eyes it can see it own suffering. If it has blood you can make it bleed. If it has a mouth you can make it scream." Darth i forgot his name.

"Thats the best thing about you humans. You bleed." a tarkatan warrior.

•08/02/2010 12:42 AM (UTC) •

Speaking of which i submitted a few other things before this story. did they get lost?