Netherrealm wraith.
`I am Noob-Saibot a wraith of the putrid netherrealm I was formerly known as Sub-Zero until the hell spawn Scorpion killed me and sent me to the netherrealm.Will I ever be able to lead a mortal life that is a question I've been dieing to know.I was once possessed by an elder god how I got rid of him you will find out.But the taint of evil residing in my black heart shall never go.`
`This all happened at the mortal kombat tournament had been revived after many years.It all started when Shao Kahn sent troops to the city that never sleeps new york.Everyone got brutally killed by Kahns minions.Raiden demanded an explanation as to why Shao Kahn had invaded one of the worlds most major cities.Then Shao Kahn told Raiden he had high ambitions of taking over earthrealm he then demanded that Raiden revives the ancient mortal kombat tournament.I didn't understand how Scorpion managed to get into the tournament being on neither the good team or the bad team.I pretended that I was going to help Raiden and his allies but I really got into the tournament to merely recieve repect.`
`All of the kombatants would face one opponent each and then the victors would face victors from other matches.I first had to defeat Kano he was slightly more tricky than I had anticipated.But I still defeated him.Eventually it got to the final round me vs Scorpion...But it were not a fight Scorpion were after it were an eternal banishment to the netherrealm.I've been searching for the awnser as to why for a very long time but I havent seemed to recieve that awnser yet.And it is very frustrating having to wonder why you are banished to a putrid realm for a millenia.`
`I remeber one time I came so close to getting out of this decrepid realm.But who stops me none other than the former elder god Shinnok.I was one day searching with fellow brother of shadow we were planning to go into the forbidden zone of the netherrealm.We were heading there because it were a rumour that an ultimate sword resided near the western parts.We went there but all we found were a portal they all beckoned me to go in and without hesitation I did.I mean this could be a way out.And it was it happened to be in a place called the nexus and who did I see none other than Scorpion quikly he retreated in a purple portal.And then out of the red portal came out none other than the former dioblicle sick sadistic elder god Shinnok.He self-proclaimed that he was the true master of the netherrealm.I wanted nothing to do with the netherrealm so it is a shame that I managed to end up there.Shinnok ran into the purple portal so I deceided to follow him`
`I was in a wasteland of some kind a women quikly dashed past me she looked rather asian.I was then knocked on the floor and this women was pacing around my body she said "Why are you in the noble and glorious realm of outworld".I told her this would be the day she regretted being born.I chased her through outworld and was stopped by Shinnok who told me to rot in the hole I was banished to but I wasnt taking that kind crap from a wannabe elder god.He then had the nerve to re-banish me to the netherrealm so all of this time I've been letting my rage build and build until I find Shinnok and when that day comes he will be sorry that he manged to get stripped of his posistion of elder god.But that is enough about him.`
`One day one of my fellow shadow members Sareena told me of a second up and coming mortal kombat tournament...And you have no idea how much I wanted to be in this tournament and kick everybodys ass and rule all realms.But of course I knew I couldn't do that without ecaping this vile realm.And unfortunatly I never made it out to be in mortal kombat two.Thankfully there was a lot of controversy in the second tournament so the third was quikly created luckily my gang of scouts managed to find me a portal to earthrealm I got through it and was on my way to a tournament.`
`Once I got out into the open I had to kill a few mortals to stop them alerting other mortals of my presence.I reached a temple I could barely see the markings on it due to the ice that engraved this ancient looking building.I walked in however my presence was not to be treasured as I were instantly attacked by a group of warriors in blue known as the lin-kuei.I wiped them out with ease I got in to what I think was the main chamber.And there I saw someone that looked exactly like me before I had become a wraith I asked him if he knew of Sub-Zero...All's he said were "I am Sub-Zero"...I then heard a voice from the heavens "Let the tournament commence".
`I won't go into long details but the same thing that happened to me in the first tournament happened to me in the third tournament so I was yet again banished to another eternity to suffer over something beautiful I once had.I wasn't to escape from the netherrealm till armageddon humph.`
Author's Remarks: | |
quik bio idea.
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Content | 1059 words | Category | Other | User Views | |
User Likes | User Ratings | 3 | Score | 3.5 |
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Signature and avatar by ThePredator151
it screams amateur, for example
"I was once possessed by an elder god how I got rid of him you will find out."
reading a sentence like that breaks up any rhythm the reader had going during the story.
another example:
"But who stops me none other than the former elder god Shinnok"
and
"And you have no idea how much I wanted to be in this tournament and kick everybodys ass and rule all realms"
a major thing a writer has to accomplish is to draw a reader into their story.
they have to make the reader suspend belief while reading it so they can be immersed in the particular story.
"I asked him if he knew of Sub-Zero...All's he said were "I am Sub-Zero""
all's? what is all's? all is? all is he said were? that doesn't make any sense.
you really need a good proof reader to check your stuff over before you submit.
if you want me to i'll break down the other shit wrong with it... but seriously get a proof reader.
4/5