Since I'm not in the mood to read all of that... I'll only comment in this portion....

Makes sense, but too predictable.


Why do they blame the Society? Interesting though.


Interesting.


Also interesting.


I like this.


This is a good twist for Baraka. Finally he shows some initiative instead of just taking orders.


Hmm... Sub-Zero should have more to do.


Kitana becoming the Edenian queen is boringly predictable. Sindel dying at the hands of Shang is interesting though; not a predictable way for her to die. Kitana needs to stop overshadowing other female kombatants though. Sindel, Mileena, and Jade need a serious rest.


I like this idea a lot. This alliance sounds very good.


Intruiging, I suppose.


Predictable but okay.


Interesting. Are they a couple though? Like king and queen of their race?


Interesting.


Is Emanon the new boss? I don't really like this either way.

The rest of your post is too long for me. Sorry. Maybe I'll just read the bios.

Well I know you let my Sindel die, but is my Jade okay? How bout Sonya?

Read the rest and you'll know.
I'm working on the bios for the new characters, but I will also explain what happened to ALL the characters from Armageddon.

And yeah, I know many of the things are predictable, but I hope to make sense when all of it is done.

Sorry about the long first post, but when I first started writing, I couldn't stop ^^
Be patient and please take your time to read it all...

Here's the first bio, I hope you like it. Be welcome to give me some constructive criticism.

Khomrah
The Edenian Soldier.
-Fighting Style: Khomrah’s fighting style is filled with fast and powerful attacks, kinda like Akira from Virtua Fighter. Most of his attacks stuns the opponent or knocks them down. His weakness is that he doesn’t have many combos and his kicks are weaker than average. His strength lies in his single strong attacks.
-Weapon Style: Khomrah is a dual wielder with two scimitars which can be combined into a twin blade, like Darth Maul’s weapon from Star Wars Ep. 1. This weapon style is where Khomrah shows his skills as the best soldier of Edenia. He swings his blades as a pro and he has some strong combos. Again, his kicks are weak in this style.
-Powers: Khomrah can control the air, not much unlike Fujin. He can blow his opponents away or up into the air, and he can ride the wind making him able to do a fierce charging attack.
-Bio: “For many thousands of years my people have been oppressed by the evil emperor Shao Kahn. We have suffered greatly, been slaves to do his bidding and worked for a cause none of us believed in. I was born into slavery and have worked since I was but a child. In secrecy some friends and I trained in sword fighting at night and dreamt of a freedom which where little to no chance of happening. But fate wanted otherwise. The dark lord’s precious daughter turned against him when learning the truth about our homerealm Edenia and our wish for freedom was within our grasps.
I fought beside Kitana and won many battles against Shao Kahn’s army and his Tarkatan horde. We won freedom and our realm became independent once again with the help of our Earthrealm allies. I am no longer a slave and my family is finally free. I will do everything for my family to keep that freedom which is exactly what I will do once again. A new threat to our realm is coming closer, a man who calls himself Emanon. In my eyes he is just another dark lord who hungers for power, and he will fall like the rest of them. Lianna, my sister in arms, and I have been assigned by lady Jade to compete in the Mortal Kombat tournament which Emanon uses to gain power. History repeats itself, but I will stop it at all cost.”
-Conclusion: Khomrah is the new hero character, but he is not a “Chosen One” like the other heroes were. Liu Kang, Shujinko and Taven were all Chosen Ones of sorts. Khomrah is just a warrior who has fought all his life with an idealistic goal: to keep his family out of slavery and to remain free. Typical hero thinking, but it suits him. He is a badass, war-minded freedom fighter, rough around the edges, but his heart is at the right place and his blade will impale his enemies.

I'm sorry to bump up a thread this far back, but I must also apologize for not having this as part of my catching up. I would've liked to have gotten to this sooner, but anyway, here's my two cents.

As we talked earlier, I do think that there needs to be some changes, such as characters like Khmorah and Lianna, who should be developed into their roles as main heroes. I'd be very careful when doing Kitana as the new Queen of Edenia as she can easily become stale and predictable. I hope you can do more with some other characters like Sub-Zero, and I can't wait to see what you do with characters like Sonya.

Keep up the good work.

This certainly has me intrigued. I'm not big on some of the characters you have coming back, but I certainly like some of them. The villain is certainly epic enough, and he has a henchmen on the go in Havik. A lot of the characters you have returning are the right choices, and I like the strong narrative you seem to have for each character. I don't think development will be your weak point.

Keep writing, it is certainly good stuff.

A notice:

"Chapter One: Khaos illuminated...

Emanon was born and raised in the Chaosrealm and became a Cleric of Chaos. He was naturally gifted and made many things others never thought would happen become reality. One of these events made him famous amongst other clerics: He made the ever loyal Shao Kahn turn on his master, the once emperor of Outworld, Onaga. And with that the history of Mortal Kombat began. He started it all. "

Here it sounds like it was Emanon that started Mortal Kombat, but its a written mistake. Emanon's bio will explain the event, but what it actually means is that Emanon was responsible for the WAR Shao Kahn lead against the realms, and NOT the very Mortal Kombat tournament.

Thanks to Sub-Zero_7th for pointing this out ^^

One more notice: Some of the characters mentioned at the top of the thread, in the "Important events after Armageddon" section, are not all playable, but are important to the storyline itself. For example, I'm not sure Kitana will be playable, but she still remains in her role and will be important for some other characters' storyline.

I had put this project on hold because no one seemed to respond to this thread, but now it seems it has been "discovered" ^^ I will then have the next bio up soon.

That's good to hear. Little trivial bits of information don't bother me. When you said Emanon started it all by turning Shao Kahn on Onaga, I accepted it and believed it. Maybe others are a little more critical, but sometimes writing is about suspension of disbelief, as are movies, and video games, especially Mortal Kombat.

I've started writing my own fan fiction piece, and while I'm not sure how well it will be received, I have kept a lot of characters alive, and some play important roles in character's bios, but they may not appear in this specific game. I think Kitana should be playable in your's, however. I just seems to fit, but that might just be my opinion. I'm really liking the prospect of Hong Liu and her relationship. I'm getting this vision of Kitana as a respectable leader, who unfortunately has a fetish for young, primed, Shaolin monks. At least she has better (if cradle-snatching) tastes than Mileena.

I'm liking the way you have three new heroes seemingly set up. There is Hong Liu, Khomrah and Lianna. Of course, you also have Taven, Jade and possible even Kung Lao and Kitana backing them up. Looks like a pretty strong roster on the good side of things. I'm really liking the slow revelation of just what is going on in Earthrealm, with Sheila seemingly being a lead protagonist. You also have Sonya Blade, and maybe even this Matt guy in the shadows.

I'm really liking this thus far.

This is really cool.Good job.

Here's Lianna's bio, I hope you enjoy it ^^ As always, constructive criticism is welcome!

Lianna
The Edenian Huntress.
-Fighting Style: Lianna is all about fast attacks, tricky combos and long kicks. Quite the opposite of Khomrah. Her attacks aren’t just fast-paced, but she spins around herself in between most attacks for better avoiding getting countered. Her kicks are devastating and she can reach most with her long legs. Her weakness lies in her strength as she is not the one to deal much damage in singular attacks, though her combo’s compensate for it.
-Weapon Style: Lianna carries two ring blades, small swords with a circled blade attached to each of the swords, and are attached to one another with a long chain. Her weapon style is a bit more powerful and less quick than her fighting style, and relies on close melee stabbing or long range chain swinging attacks. Her kicks however are stronger, but slower, used to stun her opponent before slicing him up.
-Powers: Lianna’s power emits from her as blue flames. She can make the flames engulf a part of her body or her weapons to do more damage. Like Jade’s green smoke, Lianna’s powers are some kind of kinetic energy.
-Bio: “I have for years kept a secret for those close to me. Many years ago when Edenia was still struggling under Shao Kahn’s iron grip I met a man who could be the possible leader of my people. A man called Rain, a son of Argus, the protector of Edenia from before Kahn took over. He told me that the throne of Edenia was rightfully his and that he needed help to gain it. At first I doubted his ambition, but he had saved me from slavery and trained me to become the fighter I am today. When Edenia became separate from Outworld because of Kitana, Rain was furious and sent me to be a double-agent, joining the Edenian Freedom Fighters under the command of Jade. She trained me further and I slowly began to realize how wrong I had been, how blind I was when trusting someone like Rain.
I have given Rain insider info for years and if I was to confess to Lady Jade or our queen, I would be branded as a traitor and possibly be executed for my crimes. I cannot risk that. Instead I will hunt down Rain and take his head to the queen to prove where my allegiance lies and repent my crimes against the crown. Lady Jade came to me and Khomrah, my brother in arms, and gave us a mission. We are to fight in the ultimate Mortal Kombat tournament held by a psychotic warlock called Emanon who wants to take over Edenia. I learnt that Rain is to fight in it too and that is when I will strike.”
-Conclusion: Lianna is kinda the new Edenian female ninja, but I hope to keep her as original as I can without making her another clone. At first I doubted how she would fit into the story without just sharing the same story as Khomrah, so being a double-agent for Rain and then regret it gives her the perfect twist. And I love her weapons! I changed them, so they would be attached with a long chain so they wouldn't be too much like Kitana's steel fans and all the other dual-wielding weapons in MK. I hope you like the modification.

Well, I still feel kind of iffy about you revealing that much about her character. Also, to me, a different costume design would be better as she needs to be her own character and not feel derivative of the other female ninja-type characters. Her fighting style sounds kind of like Tae Kwon Do or Muay Thai, from the way you're describing, but I could be wrong.

I'm glad that you're continuing your stories. I hope to see more soon.

Here's the third bio: Sheila. She is one of the more interesting characters in my oppinion storywise, but let's see what you tough hardcore MK fans has to say about her.

Sheila
The Rebel Spy.
-Fighting Style: Sheila’s fighting style is based on her military training. She uses short, but strong combos, mixing punches with kicks. She has some strong singular attacks, both punches and kicks, which makes her an all-round fighter and easy to use for beginners.
-Weapon Style: Sheila uses tonfas like Jax’s weapon style in Armageddon, but Sheila’s are modified to be electric charged, to give more damage and stun the opponent. Almost every hit stuns the opponent. Her kicks are strong, but slow, singular attacks that are used to knock down the opponent.
-Powers: Sheila has no superhuman power, but has several gadgets and cybernetic enhancements on her body to her disposal.
-Bio: “I was once a part of the Special Forces. I was a wonder-kid, but lived in poverty with my brother and our parents. We had to take care of our self and with my brains and my brother’s wits we could get away with anything. One day I was caught by one of the military patrols wandering around and was turned in. It was there they discovered my intellect. They called it a gift. My parents was offered money if they could train me in one of their so called schools. For my parents’ sake, I agreed to be trained and when I reached my teen years I had already designed the perfect security system for their facility.
But something was wrong, I could feel it in my bones. My designs were used for purposes I hadn’t agreed to. One of my designs was cybernetic enhancements which were used by a soldier called Jax. They put it on his arms to make him stronger. I didn’t approve of their super-human projects, so I fled. I joined my brother who told me our parents had disappeared for unknown reasons, something the Special Forces had “forgotten” to tell me. Together with my brother we made a resistance group who fought the depravity the Special Forces put upon us. I hacked into their computers and found reports about otherworldly matter which I had to investigate further. So I broke in to their facility to confirm my suspicion, but got caught when doing so by Sonya. Instead of sending me to jail, she told me everything that had happened the past few years and asked me to help them. I am too curious not to help them with their newest problem, a man from an other world threatening to devour ours. Sounds exciting!”
-Conclusion: Sheila is a woman genius who uses her brains to overcome her opponents, and besides that she is a wild cat and a thrill-seeker. She has basic military training and can give a punch and a kick, but her true potential lies in her gadgets and her cyber enhancements, something that hasn’t really been used in Mortal Kombat before.

And to respond on your post,Sub-Zero_7th:
I know Lianna's bio is very revealing, but I was trying to give her an alternative background than Khomrah's since they basically lived in the same conditions and both ended up fighting for Edenia. I didn't want her to just be a female version of him. I could of course try and make her bio reveal less and then have it in her ending, so I'll try and see if I can come up with an alternative bio for her.
About her looks, I am a fan of the female ninja outfits, but I would hate for Lianna to just be a clone of them, so her outfit will of course be her own, though it might have some elements from the other female ninjas.
About her fighting style, well, I don't think I will give the characters specific styles such as Muay Thai, Tae Kwon Do, Karate etc, but have their moveset based of several martial arts to make their own unique styles.

So I take it she's supposed to be a young character. Her story is a bit weird, but I do want to see where you go with it.

About Lianna, I understand you want to make her distinct from Khomrah, but at the same time, it kind of takes away any real surprises about her.

Sorry that I haven't posted more bios yet, but they will come very soon. Had a busy schedule lately, but it's starting to calm now.

Don't be afraid to check out and tell me your oppinion about the work so far.
Thanks for your patience.

I personally don't think the story between Rain and Khomrah is revealing too much. Players need to head into the game with a little knowledge of who Khomrah is. Twists can come later, and you don't even need them. Not every character needs to be an enigma, especially the lead protagonists.

It'll be interesting to see where Sheila and Sonya's relationship goes. i get an eerie sense of tension between them, even though Sonya is apparently the same woman, and Sheila seems good natured. I don't know why that it is, but it interests me.

While working on the bios, I made this list of characters. This is who you will expect to see.

...
New Characters: These are the new characters that will be playable from the start.
Khomrah - An Edenian soldier who wants to defend his realm - Uses dual-wielding scimitars.
Lianna - An Edenian huntress who is a double agent for Rain - Uses dual-wielding chained ring blades.*
Sheila - A human spy and a wonder-kid with a thing for gadgets - Uses dual-wielding stun-batons.
Hong Liu - A mute human who is a shaolin monk with a hero's soul - Uses the monk spade.
Aries - A man from Edenia and the advisor of Rain - Uses a grand flail.
Katharlis - A female tarkatan and an assassin from Baraka's tarkatan horde - Uses her long, extended nails.

Secret New Characters: New characters who can be unlocked.
Kaine - A vampire who is out to search for the lost Nitara - Uses a two-handed great sword.
Makai - A Netherrealm demon who is the prototype of Noob's new cyborg units. Uses a chain whip.
Matt - A human, brother to Sheila and leader of a group of rebellions - Uses twin bladed guns.
Oboro - A Seidan guard who has replaced Hotaru because of his failure - Uses the kusarigama. **
Ahna - A female Saurian offspring of Reptile and Khameleon - Uses dual-wielding sickles.
Byakko - A Shokan champion who joins forces with the Edenians - I have yet to come up with a weapon to him.

Returning Characters: Returning characters who are available from the start.
Jade - General of the Edenian Army and is on a mission she doesn't think she can go through with - Uses her kinetic staff.
Rain - Leader of an Edenian resistance group called the Storm Rebels - Uses his storm sword.
Reiko - New emperor of Outworld who will do anything to keep that helmet on! - His crude hammer.
Sub Zero - Grandmaster of the Lin Kuei whos spies on the realms - His kori blade.

Secret Returning Characters: Unlockable returning characters.
Ermac - A keeper of souls who has found his true purpose in life - A greater version of his axe.
Kitana - The Queen of Edenia who carries a dark secret - Her steel fans.
Kung Lao - A shaolin monk and leader of the White Lotus survivers - A shaolin broadsword with nine rings.
Scorpion - The supposed master of the undead Shirai Ryu clan - Several ninja swords.

Boss Characters:
Emanon - The bringer of chaos who wants to undo his past deeds by killing all warriors - His weapon will not be revealed yet.
(Another boss character will also be revealed soon)

And there will be a "super secret" character who will be revealed as the last character.

*Lianna's weapon has been modified, read her bio above to see more.
**A kusarigama is a sickle with a chain attached, and a small weight attached to the chain.
...

This is just a teaser of course, the bios will be up soon. Sorry to make you wait for so long, I have a busy life at the moment, but check back for more bios along next week.

Hey JR. I'm glad you're going to continue your story. I look forward to see what you have cooked up.