Numerous logical fallacies:

-why would anyone adhere to Shao Kahns tournament if numerous powerplayers are already more influential than him? Not to mention several times more powerful (Onaga, example ..Kahn ending in MKD)

-Chaos has no God. Chaosrealm worships no rigidly defined entity. Chaos to take upon a godlike form would be very un-chaotic.

-Shinnok has dwelled in the Netherrealm ever since he became a fallen Elder God, and that was shortly after the creation of the realms.

-the overall introduction is a it cheesy. Listing the fallen ones? And why would the Elder gods wait 500 years with a response if Armageddon successfully hindered the return of the One being? Technically they were omnipotent to intervene and strike down Gei Mo on instant. It is not like the chosen of the Leder Gods is appointed as their primary weapon of choice.

-Devastation has no plural form as a noun. Not to my knowledge. And you listed seevral warriors names wrongly, not to mention the pairings had no logical ties with the combatants.

wow... thats deep Chrome, you really have good explinations in showing the flaws the guy had in his story.

anyways...
why would you put Shao Kahn in recreating one last tournamnet? wouldn't the elder gods do something like that?

putting sub-zero against MOTARO and sheeva? the heck is that about? if you're going to put someone new against someone like you just did there must be reasons. not just all of a sudden motaro starts attacking sub-zero with absolutely no reason... stuff like that will get you nowhere if you're trying to write a story. it will obviously create confusion.

and what this guy said before, why would wait 500 years? if i was an elder god, i would probably get my white skinny ass right out there and respond in a heartbeat... listen, overall, you have some good ideas, why not you read some of the stories in the fan sumission and find out what they have that you don't. personally i would love to send in submission to this post as you said, the only thing is that i am EXTREMELY strict about plagerism... so im not telling you my stories.

but what i just said, your story is okay. just try harder next time. k? :P

Plagerism or fear that Chrome will find logic flaws?

I came up with this in the last few hours...

MK Insurrection - it is all new from scratch. I was wondering what everyone thought, while this isn't a single story, its the stories of individuals involved.

EARTHREALM

RA – With the disappearance of Raiden, the god of light Ra has been assigned to watch over Earthrealm. He has learned from the mistakes of Raiden, Ra looks after the humans as if they were children, unable to take care of themselves. Using his godly skill in combat, he intends to single handedly be victorious in Mortal Kombat. Despite wanting to do it alone, he is aided by three Shaolin Monks. Thus keeping Earthrealm safe from invasion!

LAYNE IRVING – Born in America, Layne had always felt a higher calling. He had many dreams of gods, evil warlords and a corrupted land of lava and ash. Unable to understand what they meant, he quit his job, and left for Asia to search for enlightenment with the Shaolin Monks. Layne has a sense of the real world and attempts to grasp and understand the different realms, magical powers and evil foes. His new love Rhen and his mentor, Rhen’s father Kobi can only prepare him for the vast new realms that he will enter in order to defend his world.

RHEN WANTANABE – Rhen has always studied the martial arts at her father’s tutelage. She carries a unique enthusiasm of the realms and the dangers they each bring when they invade Eathrealm. There is no concept of the real world in her mind, because she has devoted her life to worship and defense of her realm from invasion. However, when Layne comes to train as a student of her father, Rhen and Layne becomes a mismatched couple that meshes quite well.

KOBI WANTANABE – After being visited by a godly spirit, he knew that it was time to fight for his realm. Wantanabe raced up the ranks in the martial arts and did not stop there. He felt it was his position in life to train other warriors to make them as ready as possible for the immanent invasion from another realm. He even went so far as to train his only daughter at a young age so that she would be able to win Mortal Kombat when she was old enough to participate. Despite his age, he is always ready for a fight, and ready to accompany Ra into a struggle to save his realm.

ALANA SIMON – The tough as nails Alana Simon has followed the turmoil of the realms for years. She saw to it that Sektor’s Tekunin were broken up and then she began to lead missions into Outworld itself when there were rumors that Shao Kahn had returned. She has hand picked her team of officers that will see to it that the emperor of Outworld is overthrown before he can invade Earthrealm.

RICK REEVES – The American hero that picked up the flag when Sonya and Jax fell. He has lead the special forces on numerous missions, but when the Outworld Investigation Agency needed him, he was eager to take the job. With Outworld and Mortal Kombat itself, he would get to test himself against not the best in the world, but all of the realms.

JUNO TAMANAKI – One of the last human members of the Red Dragon clan; he struggles to stay alive in hiding from his own clan and from the Special Forces. In his need to stay alive, he has made a bargain with Satarus to open a portal to Outworld, which will bring about an invasion. Before that can happen, he will participate in Mortal Kombat to twiddle down his enemies from the Special Forces and the Red Dragon. In Mortal Kombat, it is one on one, he has a much greater chance of success.

FLOOD – Without a grandmaster to lead the Lin Kuei, the clan has broken off into three sects. There are Cyromancers, which are the old purists of the clan, the Aeromancers, which control the air in the mountains and the Hydromancers that control the water. Each of the three sects struggle for dominance and the Hydromancers have taken a leap ahead of the other two sects, by integrating the original technology that created Cyrax. Originally a human left for dead after a battle with Wisp, he was retrieved by his clan and integrated into the blue robot that he is now.

DEEP FREEZE – Deep Freeze has reluctantly entered Mortal Kombat in order to kill the rogue Lin Kuei that was sent on a mission to return with Shinnok’s amulet. As a member of the Lin Kuei he has a target on his back from both Flood and Wisp, but as long as Draevon uses Shinnok’s amulet for his own gain, it brings shame to the Lin Kuei.

WISP – The Aeromancer’s grand champion of combat is Wisp. He has mastered both the ability of wind and the skill of his bow and arrow. With the feuding in the sects caught in a struggle for dominance, he has become very familiar with the powers of Flood. After leaving Flood for dead, he was reborn only to become a robot that continues to hunt Wisp and his clan day and night without sleep. There is one hope for Wisp’s clan against the robot. It is to meet him head on in Mortal Kombat to destroy him once and for all on neutral turf.

NEATHEREALM

DRAEVON – Sent to retrieve the amulet for the Lin Kuei, but the Neatherealm corrupted him. With the amulet he created two warriors, one made of ash, the other from a small pool of lava. Draevon has become too powerful and has been cast out by Ra, but Draevon intends to find a way back. He will have revenge on the god that cast him out.

SCORCH – Created from an ash, Scorch will do the bidding of Draevon. Scorch has been created in the image of Draevon, a former member of the Lin Kuei. Scorch has been turned into a black wraith from all of the horrible deeds that he has carried out for Draevon.

CINDER – Created from a small pool of lava, he will do the bidding of Draevon. Cinder has been created in the image of Draevon, a former member of the Lin Kuei. This red ninja will join Mortal Kombat in order to defend his master from Deep Freeze and all of the sects of the Lin Kuei.

ANAMAZURUS – The amazing wizard that can create portals between realms. Draevon has made a bargain with Anamazurus to open a portal to Earthrealm that will send Cinder and Scorch into Mortal Kombat. Anamazurus has bigger plans as he will do what Draevon says, leaving him without his guards, and kills him! The amulet will then be his!

ENKEYDU – A spirit that has been denied his physical form by Draevon. Enkeydu intends to steal the amulet back to regain his physical form and if Enkeydu must kill Draevon to get the amulet, he will do what he must!

EDENIA

SERENITY – A good natured woman that strives to keep the peace amongst the realms. She has sought many ways to keep the peace other than the violence that Satarus threatens to bring to Edenia. With a portal open and a huge army amassed in Outworld, Serenity is left with two choices. Marry Satarus in a ceremony that will bind the two realms as one without bloodshed, or she can compete in Mortal Kombat to defeat Satarus alone.

JORDEN – Jorden is the best friend of Serenity that must always look out for her; when Serenity announced that she would be participating in Mortal Kombat, Jorden could not let Serenity go into battle alone. With both Serenity and Jorden in the tournament, it increases the chances of defeating Satarus.

RUBY – As the personal guard of Serenity, Ruby has been in many battles and slain many warriors that have meant to do harm to Serenity. After years of flawless duty, her mind has come under question. She has difficulty thinking clearly and determining friend from foe. She has joined Mortal Kombat in order to spare her realm from an invasion, but everyone will see that her real goal is to slay Serenity in honorable combat and the throne will be given to her new mistress.

ARIEL – The powerful magician Ariel has been Serenity’s advisor since her birth. While Ariel gives her ideas to Serenity, they are rarely taken, because they are too forceful, too risky and her ideas are too violent. This magician will however find some other way for her ideas to be taken. As the next in line to the throne of Edenia, she will take matters into her own hands to gain power. Mortal Kombat is her chance to see that Serenity does not survive.

DEMEETREE – A soldier of Edenia, he has always lead a noble life to defend his realm from invasion. When he was defending an Edenian palace from an Outworld attack, he returned to find his village had been burnt to the ground. His wife and child were dead with Ryeven standing over them. Since then, he has vowed that Ryeven will die at his hands!

OUTWORLD

SATARUS – Once a former commander in Kahn’s armor, Satarus was the one to find the dead emperor’s armor. While Kahn was not in the armor when it was found, Satarus strapped on the armor as his own. From there the cursed armor took control of the body of Satarus, just as it had done to the wearer before him. Using his body, Kahn lives again and commands his army to conquer other realms. He will face the toughest warriors in the tournament in order to achieve that goal.

VIGONE – Satarus is not foolish enough to go alone. He will have with him the aide of a Shokan to be the general of his armies. Vigone serves at the side of what he thinks is Shao Kahn himself, but if Vigone were to find out he was played for a fool, imagine the consequences.

RYEVEN – The only one to know the truth about Satarus, he and the new emperor were friends and comrades. Now that Satarus has become the leader that Ryeven always wanted to become, Ryeven has gone insane! He has made it his focus in life to overthrow Satarus and be seated as the new emperor of Outworld.

VIPRA – When she went looking for Reptile, Vipra was captured by the Red Dragon clan, where they experimented on her to make the ultimate warrior. She has become a Saurian with the strength of a red dragon and the stealth to become invisible. The Red Dragon now uses her as an assassin, but there is someone not far behind her.

PYTHONA – After Vipra went missing in Earthrealm, Pythona was sent to look for her friend. However, when the two found one another, the battle was devastating. Pythona was nearly killed and forced to retreated back to Outworld where she was captured by Satarus. To spare her life from Satarus, she offered her services, both as a stealthily Saurian and as a seductress. Now she serves him as a master as she tries to find the means to restore both Vipra’s body and mind.

Mortal Kombat: War of the Realms

�The eyes of avarice lead to the eyes of war�a common saying during the War of the Realms

Prologue:

Some people have said it was a tool that would bring the means of salvation, while others have said it was a tool that would bring the means of destruction. Truely, many myths and legends have clouded the true purpose of the ultimate tool known as the Kamidogu.


But Behold, this fact about the Kamidugo is no myth: The Kamidugu has and always will be the instrument the Elder Gods used to create the Realms, which was once a single universe driven by both harmony and chaos.

This is how the universe formed and fell....

In the beginning, the Elders God and the One-Bieng created one single universe. Soon after the universe was created, the first of many wars began. These series of wars were known as the War of Ompotency.


Since the universe had now been created, who had all dominion over it? Both entities were unwilling to share the universe, because both entities had extremely different views for the universe. The universe would either belong to the Elder Gods or the One Being, but not both entities. The War of Omnipotency would ultimately decide who the universe belonged to.


During the War of Omnipotency, the One-Being had advantage over the Elder Gods, because the One-Being was an omnipresent creature and this ability pressured the Elder Gods greatly. Due to the One-Being's strength, one third of the Elder Gods perished into oblivion. As the One-Bieng became stronger and more victorious, it seemed all hope for the Elder Gods to inherit the universe was loss, untill the Elder Gods unleashed their ultimate weapon, the Kamidugo.


The Kamidugu was extremely powerful for it literally broke the universe and the One-Being, into smaller worlds which became known as Realms. The One-Being'’s subconsciousness had been shattered and each Realm represented a different personality of the One-Being. The Elder Gods had finally won the War for Omnipotency, which had taken 500 years to accomplish.

For eons, the One Being's subconsciousness remained in a dormant state. Although the One Being had become weaker, it seemed that the One-Being could manifest itself through people due to the omnipresent nature of the creature. The One Bieng revealed this ability when former ruler of Outworld, Onaga, the Dragon King, became an outlet for the One Bieng. Through the Dragon King, the One-Being reunited the broken pieces of the Kamidugu by deceiving and using a certain gullibe man known as Shujinko. By uniting each part of the Kamidugo, the One Bieng would become a whole again and powerful as ever. However, before the Dragon King and the One Being could fuse the realms, the deceived man shattered the Kamidugu into smaller pieces in order to harm the Dragon King and the One-Bieng indirectly. Due to the shattering of the Kamidugo, the One-Being was in agony and the Dragon King became vulnerable. The Dragon King would soon be no more.


In an instant, each piece of the Kamidugu was transported back to each realm it derived from. Since the deceived man had scattered the kamidugu into even smaller and more pieces than before, more realms formed, thus, the One Being's subconsciousness had been scattered even further.

News of the scattering of the Kamidugu reached across the realms. Believing that reuniting the Kamidugu will make the wielder stronger and ruler of all, warriors from each realm travel across other realms seeking for all the scattered pieces of the Kamidugu. The greed for acquiring the Kamidugu has led to the War of the Realms. Realms that were once allies are now hostile to one another due to greed. Friends are betraying one another in order to satiate their greed. Alas, chaos runs through the realms, and tournaments are held to decide who obtains the pieces of the Kamidugu. Warriors await to fight one another to the death......and one of the warriors is the One Being itself.

hey i thought the guy had good critisim...

with the whole plagerism, i would tell you the story of what i think mk8 should be... but... i choose not to... unlike you, i actually do want to ahve a career in script writing and actually star in movies... but why should i talk about my life like this?

Okay thanks for the C&C I will try better

No one going to comment on mine? :(

oh sry I did but I fogot to post down comp froze but I like the story who is the One-Being

Mortal Kombat: Rebirth
And it's sequel: Mortal Kombat: Korruption.

Currently working on the next one.

I'm glad you're working on the next one, XD. Your's are the only fan fiction I have been bothered to read through in their entirety. I will begin working on my version of the next Mortal Kombat installment.

It's harder than it seems writing a captivating piece of fiction that you yourself are happy with. I've got two character bios done, but I'm not too happy with them.

It is also a lot harder starting from scratch, without using any characters from the past and still keeping the Mortal Kombat legacy.

Okay I redone story better than before even though I was rushing like Ed Boon making MKDA and MKA LMAO

Mortal Kombat: Devastation

Prologue:
"I heard of great stories of the history of Mortal Kombat from my grandmother, from The Great Kung Lao and Goro to the Resurrection of the Dragon King." But now thanks to that, the situation has gotten devastating."

*Scene showing the pyramid, Taven vs. Blaze*

“Taven, protector of Edenia challenge Blaze into Mortal Kombat. Hope of the realm will soon be restored. But victory falls short until Daegon appeared”

*Scene showing Daegon coming from behind and impaled Blaze with his sword*

“Without being notice, Daegon impaled the sword what was given by Argus into Blaze. Blaze has been defeated”

*Blaze being erupted*

“The kombatants stopped their fatal battle and looked upon the firespawn.”

*Scene showing Shinnok smiling as he walking up the pyramid and Taven ready to pounced Daegon, but Shang Tsung and Quan Chi put a grip on Taven. And then, Shinnok makes it to the top of the pyramid. Daegon bowed before him.*

“Shinnok was giving Daegon the gratitude he deserves and retrieve the firespawn power. But until........”

*Daegon hit Shinnok to the floor*

“Daegon deceived Shinnok.”

*Shinnok fighting Daegon, but when Shinnok use his amulet to stop him, Daegon grabbed his wrist, squeezed it until the amulet was no longer in his hand, impaled him with the sword as well and thrust kicked him off the sword and pyramid.*

“Forces of Darkness have succeeded the Armageddon, even if the fallen god has been deceived by Daegon. But if you that’s worst, look again.”

*Daegon rise his foot above the amulet. While Quan Chi was screaming ‘NO!’, Daegon stepped and crushed the amulet, and then a green and red aura soaring around Daegon and all of the sudden, Daegon went berserk.*

“There was also a story I heard about The Amulet, that it may control the Dragon King’s army, but it’s also contains an evil monster that The One Being sealed in the amulet before his battle against the Dragon King.”

*A cloud of green and red aura absorbed and fused in Daegon body. Everyone looks surprise. He was no longer Daegon.*

“Gei-Mo, Master of Chaos and Destruction, has been resurrected by the amulet and the body of Daegon”

*Raiden and Kahn made to the top and looked terrified as he walked toward them*

“Gei-Mo was the main fear of all realm especially the Elder Gods and the One Being

"Now, they found the main reason for Mortal Kombat."

*Gei-Mo put up his fighting stance.*

"To survive"

*Shao Kahn and Raiden both attacked him, but no affect on him. Raiden and Shao Kahn jumped back and Kahn pulled out his hammer and attacked him. Gei Mo stopped the hammer with his bare hand and grabbed it; he smacked Shao Kahn around with the hammer and pull out Kahn head. Now everyone attacked.*

“Gei Mo annihilated majority of the kombatants one by one and suddenly, everyone who still survived their retreated.”

*While everyone retreated from the pyramid, a mysterious kombatant went up the pyramid. And meanwhile, Taven, Kung Lao, and Fujin fighting Gei-Mo. Gei-Mo knocked Kung Lao off the pyramid, but while falling, the mysterious person have saved him and continue to the pyramid. When Fujin is down, Taven was now 1 on 1 against, but Taven was nearly defeated. Gei-Mo was going for the kill, but the mysterious person kicked Gei-Mo making him stubble.*

“My name is Dawn, Son of the One Being and Champion of the Elder Gods.”

*Dawn vs. Gei-Mo; Afterward Gei-Mo hit the ground*

“I was victorious at the moment, but suddenly.....”

*Gei-Mo sealed Dawn into the broken amulet until it was attached.”

“I was sealed into the amulet.”

*Gei-Mo picked up the amulet, but Taven attacked Gei-Mo, swiftly picked up the amulet and threw it off the pyramid*

“When Gei-Mo got up, Taven surrendered knowing it was hopeless to defeat him without the power of Blaze. Now, Gei-Mo has now enslaved Edenia.”

“500 years later, a young monk found the amulet, accidentally broke the amulet and set me free. Now that I am free, I am ready to stop this madness; I’ve failed to stop defeat Onaga, but I will defeat Gei-Mo. Devastation will soon be ended.”