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mksf sektor 7 cyber kombat ch.3 the briefing ends
mortal kombat special forces sektor 7 cyber kombat ch 1: crisis
mortal kombat special forces sektor 7 cyber kombat ch. 2 briefing

MORTAL KOMBAT SPECIAL FORCES

SEKTOR SEVEN: CYBER KOMBAT

CHAPTER 3: THE BRIEFING ENDS

"Woah now, this is getting a little complex. Exactly how did all these people hi-jack the systems from inside cyberspace?" Crimson D. asked Cyrax all confused. "I don't know but they did some how." he said. "Wait, Jax you said that the virus was a daemon right?" said Crimson D.. "Yes a limited AI program. It's intelligence only to the extent it's creator programmed it to be." replied Jax.

"Wait... programming, that's it!" exclaimed Crimson D.. "What about it?" asked Jax. "What if it was programmed to leave other smaller daemons behind it at every hub to control them? Maybe those boss kombatants Cyrax saw were avatars of separate programs installed at the hubs when the virus infected them." Crimson D. suggested. "But then where's the main program?" asked Jax and Cyrax. "I don't know yet. It may not have an avatar or it deleted itself once the smaller daemons were installed." said Crimson D..

"We will worry about that later. Right now we need to find a way to erase those smaller daemons to restore the network." Crimson D. said with a firm voice.

The sound of the door opening caught the attention of everyone especially when Sektor came running all in a panic. "HEY GUYS WE GOT TROUBLE!!! WE ARE TOTALLY SCREWED NOW!!!" he shouted. " Woah there calm down Sek. Were you able to get this hub online manually?" Crimson D. asked.

"No the daemon locked us out and changed all the access codes!!! We can't access the system at all!!! We are so screwed!!!" replied Sektor who was really stressed out.

After a long time of pondering how to get rid of the daemon virus they started to get tired. Just then a light bulb shined above Crimson D.s head.

"I know, what if we defeat the avatar in mortal kombat?" Crimson D. suggested. "WHAT!?!???" asked a puzzled and confused Cyrax. "If the daemons are made up of these avatars of kombatants, then they can be killed."

"So if we kill them in cyberspace maybe then it might delete the daemon and restore this hub." said Crimson D.. "You know that might work! Lets try it!" said Cyrax.

So Cyrax opened a hole into cyberspace and Crimson D., Scorpion, and Kenshi all jumped into it as it vanished.

Meanwhile in another part of the sektor seven facility a special forces guard was patrolling the hallway when he saw someone. "Oh hey Crimson D. how are you do..." *shhhhing* *slash* *splatter*

To be continued...

Author's Remarks:
bet you did not expect that last part did you. i know it sounds confusing but it will be explained in a future chapter.
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08/22/2010 11:46 AM (UTC)by
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Sektorseven
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About Me

"If it is alive it can feel pain. If it has eyes it can see it own suffering. If it has blood you can make it bleed. If it has a mouth you can make it scream." Darth i forgot his name.

"Thats the best thing about you humans. You bleed." a tarkatan warrior.

Member Since
06/07/2010 02:27 PM (UTC)
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Ekule
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 •08/21/2010 03:38 PM (UTC) •
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uhg, here we go again.

To be nice:

You added somewhat of a cliff hanger.

and the rest:

You failed to fix your paragraphing when it comes to dialog.
90% of the chapter revolves around dialog.
NOTHING is going on here.

If this was a book I would have read the back cover and put it back. Nothing is going on. This "chapter" which was less than 500 words... added nothing for me except for the fact that these daemons could be killed in Mortal Kombat... woopdittydoo.

Your speech for Sektor sounds nothing like the Sektor I have in my mind. The real one. Your Crimson D character is boring. Your cliff hanger was pointless and left me wondering nothing. Except for the fact that Crimson D just jumped in to a Cyberspace Vortex of Mass Confusion but all the sudden he is in the hallway killing people. I would assume he is an avatar or Shang Tsung. But, if you are borrowing plot lines from other TV shows, movies, and games then I guess he could also be Mystique, The bad terminator from Terminator 2, The master of disguise, Ethan Hunt... oh and one last thing, !!! is not proper grammar. Especially when you use it 20 times in 4 paragraphs. Sorry if I am being to harsh, just being real.
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Icebaby
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 •08/21/2010 03:39 PM (UTC) •
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I'm not liking how you got Sektor looking like a wimp.

"Hey guys we got trouble! We are totally screwed now..." Wimpy, wimpy...

And also with that saying, majority of things you got your characters saying sound like they're coming out of a 13-year-old's mouth. It just looks that way.

What's with the "???!?!!" Just use either a question mark or an explanation mark, no need to excessively use both to show us that they're in shock or something.

You keep making more grammar errors, and everyone's telling you exactly how to fix that problem but it's like you don't care.

That's all I can see in this story.
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Ekule
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 •08/21/2010 03:46 PM (UTC) •
0
Here is an example of my Kabal story outline for you. Not saying this is how you need to do it because everyone collects their thoughts differently. You just need to collect your thoughts mate:


Outline

Kabal Story

What do we already know about Kabal?
Disfigured
Life of Crime
Must use resperator
Attacked by Shao Kahns Extermination Squad

Who is Kabal of this story?
Misjudged
Loner
Nuetral
Not afriad to spill blood

What am I trying to get accross to the reader?
Kabal sold his soul to be saved
Kabal jhsmanfowhg[awadsfaljdshfkjhasdopfsdfgn
Shao fahdfkadhfiadshfojdsbcnfoasjdhfjadbksdnb
Raiden dsajfohsjfghkznbgfkjsbadnfosidhflanfcn



:: The jumble of letters at the end were to not spoil anything if I run with this one.
Avatar
Sektorseven
Avatar
About Me

"If it is alive it can feel pain. If it has eyes it can see it own suffering. If it has blood you can make it bleed. If it has a mouth you can make it scream." Darth i forgot his name.

"Thats the best thing about you humans. You bleed." a tarkatan warrior.

 •08/22/2010 01:07 AM (UTC) •
0
my style of writing uses alot of dialouge. and i find it to be easier to just have chapters of verying langth but if you want max memory chapters i can do that. also i am taking notes on my thoughts on paper and have more then 3 sub plotlines to insert.tongueconfusedwow
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Ekule
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 •08/22/2010 01:11 AM (UTC) •
0
I think I am done trying to help. It's isn't working.
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SEGAmaniac7
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 •08/22/2010 04:20 AM (UTC) •
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Ekule Wrote:
I think I am done trying to help. It's isn't working.


I think your trying too hard, you gave him your advice and tried to help him but if someone isn't gonna take it in or apply it they wont no matter how much you tell them, its as simple as that. You only do so much but your a good guy for actually trying to help him out, that's a good thing
Avatar
Sektorseven
Avatar
About Me

"If it is alive it can feel pain. If it has eyes it can see it own suffering. If it has blood you can make it bleed. If it has a mouth you can make it scream." Darth i forgot his name.

"Thats the best thing about you humans. You bleed." a tarkatan warrior.

 •08/22/2010 11:46 AM (UTC) •
0
actually it is working i am taking notes on this story including a story map and a charicter outline. in fact heres an exerpt from my notes.

THE FACTS:

Crimson D.
1. someone or something is mimicing him
2. he is being set up so he has to clear his name
3. he is very nervous and paranoid because of all this
4. he is a wanted fugitive?

mysterious progamer
1. knows alot about computers
2. cant be seen or found
3. perfectly sly and devious
4. might be a mole
5. may or may not exist

Sonya Blade
1. suspects an inside job
2. is very suspicious of Crimson D.
3. a hard headed by the book person
4. is being tricked into thinking that Crimson D. is responsable
5. presistant
6. hates Crimson D. for some reason

Jax
1-5. same as sonya
6. unlike sonya he does not hate Crimson D.

Hotaru
1. beleves Crimson D. is being framed
2. in the name of order and justice vows to help Crimson D. clear his name
3. while Crimson D. is like sherlock holmes Hotaru is like watson
4. helps Crimson D. evade Jax and Sonyas persuit
5. is good at finding out anything he beeds to know
6. will kill to remove any obsticles between him and the truth

AI daemon
1. uses smaller avatar daemons to do the dirty work
2. almost self consious
3. will stop at nothing to do what its told to do by the programmer if he exists
4. shows no mercy or compassion
5. might be the one who is setting Crimson D. up
gringringrin i avhe ledear ttah ym orfmreyl otsm rudets eengrla ekiro sha bnee aeskngin noit ym vtpirae mrecahb ot rewa ym meehlt.
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